It’s officially six weeks and one day post surgery for me, and I’ve hit that point where I feel like I should be fine. But then I’m reminded that I’m not really. My incisions are almost completely healed and the scabs are mostly gone, but everything looks red and angry. I also get an ache in a couple of places along my chest bone, and wearing the binder too long makes my stomach incision ache. Not wearing it feels like I’m pregnant—all I’m aware of is my tight, swollen stomach. And I still get tired easily.

I’m tired of it. Can I say that? I’m tired of recovering. And being sore. And not being able to lift stuff or move quickly or eat much. Getting my Covid booster yesterday didn’t help because I’ve also had a headache all day. That and 2 days of rain has me in a bad mood.

But I know it’s momentary. Both the rain and my headache should be gone tomorrow. By the end of the month my incisions won’t be so mad at me. Everything I read says that by eight weeks, the swelling is really improved. And my physical therapy is loosening up that stupid tight tendon in my arm. I’m thankful that lousy days don’t last.