April 21, 2021

Clear heels!

Only 4 more treatments to go! Yay! I wore my storage unit wig today and even put on fake eyelashes. It’s weird not having eyelashes and eyebrows anymore. My face feels so bare. But the fake lashes looked awkward without actual lashes too. Oh well. I’ll keep trying.

I’ve started getting neuropathy after last week’s treatment. I had been feeling it off and on previously, but it’s definitely more often now. My nurse asked about side effects, so I told her about it. Since my oncologist was out today, she had the doctor on call talk to me about it before starting treatment. We decided it’s still mild enough not to change anything. However, if it gets worse, they may need to lower my dose again. Fingers crossed it holds off. Since my dose was already lowered, I’d really like to get through the next four without changing it.

I’m thankful things are still going well overall. I’m grateful for the sunshine today even though it was cold again. I’m happy to be so close to the finish line.

April 19, 2021

I’m grateful today for music. I was feeling wiped after work, but I wanted to work on the wreaths I didn’t finish over the weekend. So when I went to my craft room, I streamed something not my norm. I put on Michael Bublé, and it reminded me of the time years ago that I saw him in concert. To this day, it’s one of my favorite concerts ever—and I’m normally a rock music girl. But the concert and the night out with one of my best girlfriends at the time was memorable and so much fun.

I love how music can energize and transport us to a memory so easily. When I lived alone, music was my go-to over the television. Of course, that’s when I could sing and dance with abandon as well without anyone seeing and judging me. These days I have to wait for Patrick to leave the house, and even then the dogs give me side eye. Oh well, I love music and today I’m thankful for it in my craft room.

April 18, 2021

Barley looks like I do around 4:00 every day now. Haha!

After getting a latte this morning and running a couple of errands before the stores got crowded, I spent a lot of my day in my craft room. I ended up making several spring wreaths that I’ll post on my Facebook page to sell (hopefully!). At one point, I “shopped” out of my storage unit for some florals that I knew I had there and found a wig that I had gotten for a mannequin. Its actually kind of ok, so I think I’m going to wear it this week. I’m thankful for another productive and good day!

April 17, 2021

After a two-hour nap yesterday, I slept for almost ten hours last night. Crazy! While I’m still getting tired more and more it seems, I’m grateful to have most of the day feeling ok. Today I was feeling well enough to get some things accomplished beyond the normal cleaning. I finally got my craft room straightened up and even dropped off the box of Goodwill items that have been sitting in the basement for months. It’s good to get a day every once in a while that feels a bit more normal.

April 16, 2021

My chemo effects kicked in later today. I got so tired I fell asleep for a couple of hours this afternoon. Maybe it was the hour I spent outside working in the yard—too much fresh air and sunshine. And physical activity for someone who hasn’t been doing much. Or maybe just chemo fatigue.

I’m thankful though for not being too sore. I’m thankful for being able to take the afternoon off work to relax a bit. And I’m thankful for a surprise ice cream treat that served as most of my dinner.

April 15, 2021

Today I’m thankful for some quiet time outside with the pups while Patrick was picking up carry out for dinner. Usually, when we’re outside with the dogs, they’re running around chasing each other. Today, they mostly just stood at alert, watching the scenery and sniffing the breeze. I was able to get this photo of Chance, but Barley kept walking away. Silly pup.

April 14, 2021

The countdown continues…five treatments left after today! I wore my spotty shoes in celebration.

Today’s treatment was a little longer than usual because my nurse had trouble getting the needle in my port correctly. She’s worked with me only once before and had the same trouble. Both previously and today, she had to get another nurse to do it for her.

While it’s uncomfortable for me (I end up getting poked numerous times), I felt bad for her. She’s not a new nurse, but she is newer to oncology and must not have a lot of experience with ports. I could tell she was a bit frustrated and maybe embarrassed that she wasn’t successful. It’s all practice, but it’s kind of crazy that the practice can only happen in real time. The pressure of that must be awful.

I tried not to show it, but I was glad she didn’t keep trying on her own because I’m sure it will be sore later. However, today I’m thankful for her and all the nurses who take on this work with its pressures and crazy learning curves. It’s intense work and not something I’d want to do, but I’m grateful others have to courage.

April 13, 2021

Ok, I’m glad not every day is like yesterday. Today was better.

I saw one of my doctors today and asked about some of issues I’m having with eating. She thinks I maybe a little dehydrated which is causing too much thick drainage in the back of my throat. Gah. So besides drinking more water (even though I’ve been drinking more than any other time in my life!) she suggested sucking on lemon candy to help my dry mouth produce more saliva. Go figure. Patrick says only I would have a doctor who prescribes me candy. I don’t choose this luck. It finds me.

Today I’m thankful for better days. I’m thankful for a FaceTime chat catching up with a friend. I’m thankful for a bit of sunshine.

April 12, 2021

Every once in a while, I have a day where I’m tired of living with chemo side effects: the sinus issues and nosebleeds, the tiredness, the indigestion that causes a cough, the strange dry yet slimy feeling in my mouth, the sore muscles, the inability to regulate my body temperature. I know things could be worse, and I’m truly grateful they’re not. But today, I was tired of cancer. And chemo. I’m thankful I have Patrick who hugs me when I cry.