I’m grateful today that Barley was tolerating Cooper (we decided on his name!) a little bit better today. Although I’m questioning whether Cooper is really a cat.

Today I had to leave work early and get a CT scan in preparation for my upcoming surgery. The hospital is an hour away when the traffic is good, so I knew I had to leave in plenty of time. I was told to drink a couple of glasses of water a couple hours ahead, so by the time I got there, I was desperate for the bathroom. Luckily, I didn’t need a full bladder for the scan because the contrast dye they injected gave a warm sensation that made me feel like I had wet myself. Good thing the nurse warned me ahead of time. I’m thankful the scan was uneventful, and I should have results in a day or two.

Uneventful is not what happened at home today. Over the weekend Patrick and I were discussing when we thought we’d be ready to get another pup since it feels very empty without Chance. And as the way things go, we saw posts of a little guy on a local shelter’s social media/website that gave us Chance vibes. Today we decided it wouldn’t hurt to meet him. We were wrong.

Against all better judgement, we brought him home. I mean, it’s terrible timing with my surgery coming up. But something in this little fella’s face and temperament spoke to us. Still, I cried all the way home thinking of my Chance and remembering the day I brought him home. I felt disloyal, thinking maybe we haven’t grieved long enough. But I’ll always wish he was back and I know we will never replace him.

We’re just opening ourselves up for a new chapter. Barley wasn’t too keen on him at first, but wasn’t aggressive, which helped push us towards adopting him. He usually doesn’t like new dogs. We’re hopeful it won’t take long for them to bond. Barley has seemed a bit lonely. We have good signs.

I’m thankful for another day of wasting time. Haha. Since the air quality from Canadian wildfires was bad again this weekend, Patrick took a break from painting the house. I’m updating our bedroom, so we decided to go hunting for a new comforter. As usual, the one I want is more expensive than I’d like, which means we came home empty handed. But it was fun to ignore the chores waiting for us at home for another day.

I’m thankful for a relaxing day with sunshine, for a silly walk with Barley, and for dinner out with Patrick.

I finally had a massage again today, which helped my shoulder and side pain tremendously. However, it didn’t help my hand. At least not yet. It’s still puffy. He mentioned it could be a lymphatic issue, and so did my radiation oncologist whom I saw this morning. But both of them agreed it seems to really be concentrated in my hand and not throughout my arm. I’m holding onto the hope that it’s not lymphoma.

I’m really tired of feeling sore all the time. There. I said it. Again. But I’m thankful that the massage helped with some of it. And that my doctor’s appointment this morning went well. And that my surgery is only a few weeks away.

I witnessed an accident while sitting at a stoplight on the way home. It was scary, even from a few cars back. The cars hit head on. Once all the motion stopped, folks got out the nearest cars and rushed in to help. It seemed someone may have been stuck because a couple of men opened the back of one car and started pulling out stuff—a ladder, a large cooler…I called it in to the emergency dispatch but no one answered. As the line of cars behind me started getting longer, I realized I was just blocking traffic, so I went around the chaos and continued home.

Apparently if you can’t get through on 911, they call you back. They assured me they knew about the accident and help was on the way. I had considered pulling over to try and help myself, but there was already a small crowd by the time I left. And I was really afraid to find out if someone was in the back of that car.

While I’m thankful it wasn’t me driving through that intersection, I really hope no one was severely injured.

Today I’m grateful for an easier day at work, a yummy dinner made with our garden harvest, a headache that FINALLY went away, and a thoughtful and generous friend who donated to an animal charity in honor of our Chance.

It’s been a difficult day on many levels. Work stress. Family illness worries. My stupid hand is still puffy. And today we picked up Chance’s ashes. But I’m thankful tomorrow is a new day with different possibilities.

I’m thankful for seeing my sister and brother-in-law for a brief time today, for relaxing outside, for finding fabric in the right color, and for chocolate cake my mom made.