March 27

Several weeks ago I mentioned that our college president had left for other pursuits. Since then there has been a nationwide search for a replacement, and I had the opportunity to sit on the search committee during the final stretch of interviews. Now I’ve had my share of jobs and have had numerous interviews in the process of getting those jobs. It’s always intimidating to sit in the hot seat, waiting to be evaluated and worrying that every word you say is the correct choice. It’s pressure. I’ve had a couple notable interviews over the years. One was at a rather large company where I was interviewing for an internal communications/marketing position. I had done everything I was taught to do at the time. Submit my application and follow up with the appropriate phone call/email or whatever. When I got to the HR department for my interview, I was called into a woman’s office. She had my application on her desk, and I noticed someone had written on it Why is she so persistent? I thought that was odd. Wasn’t persistence normally considered a good thing? I was then brought to the manager’s office for the next leg of the interview. The first thing he asked me was, Do I know you from somewhere? Have we met before? Um, no. Odd. Then he asked me a couple of mundane questions, followed by a discussion of cameras and whether I knew how to use one. That was it. I left wondering what the heck that was all about, and I DIDN’T follow up with a thank you note. I knew I didn’t want the job. I’m often considered a bit quirky, but that was beyond even my comfort zone. Another memorable interview I had was years ago at another college. Educational institutions like to hire by committee, so I was prepared for that when I showed up. What I wasn’t prepared for was a room with about 15 people around a huge conference table. After all, the position was not executive level. Trying to answer a question to a panel of that many faces was definitely intimidating. I wasn’t even sure where to look.

That’s why I found the interview process for our next president rather compelling. The candidates were all very impressive. The wealth of experience and the resumes were remarkable. And the ease with which most of them interacted with a large interview committee (more than 15 people) was extraordinary. I wished I could have spent time simply chatting with them one-on-one. I’m sure I could learn something notable from each of them. I love meeting people who are accomplished and charismatic and eloquent. It makes me want to emulate them. That’s what I believe good leaders should do. Make people aspire to be the best versions of themselves. And I think we picked some great final candidates who could do that. Over the last couple of weeks, we have had them to the college for open forums with staff, faculty, and the community. Today as I sat in one of the forums, I was newly impressed. It’s exciting to know that one of these candidates is our next president. And there are good things on the horizon. I’m thankful to have played a role in this process. And I can’t wait to see what happens next.

March 26

To continue my appreciation and love of words, this sums up the bleak days of March:

grey days
fit stagnant like
an ancient sweatshirt
dull
life colored in monochromatic
blue-grey
hands on clocks tick
monotonous regularity
rise
eat
rest
labor in between
lung muscles too weak to yell
only breathe lightly
life could escape
through a large
sigh

March 25

I spent a lot of my free time today reviewing math problems for the GRE test I’m taking on Friday. While I feel like I am figuring out what I don’t know, I still can’t see how that knowledge is making a difference with my sample tests. I’m still not scoring very well. By the end of the day my eyes actually hurt. And my brain was mush. I’ve definitely been straining it by trying to learn all math from whole number basics to statistics in the last month. It’s starting to fight back.

I do think this math review has been interesting in a couple of ways. While I’m actually a logical thinker for the most part, I am not naturally gifted in “math” logic. I don’t automatically understand how to set up equations. I don’t automatically see how many cubes with sides of 2 can come from a larger cube with sides of 6. And yet, I’m confident that I can figure out a real-life problem by breaking it down and working through it systematically or logically. And I can visualize my space at home and know how furniture can fit. And I am a savvy shopper who understands how to compare sales and the return on investments. Therefore, I honestly think I understand the conceptual thinking that it takes to do math. That must mean I simply don’t always understand the language, so with enough time and practice, that’s learnable. And I do like language. That I enjoy. However, I have to admit that all this math review has confirmed how much I enjoy working with words instead of numbers.The competitive side of me says that maybe I should work on this even after the test and prove that I can do it. While I believe in being well-rounded and strive to have a better grasp of math, it’s not where my heart lies. I don’t need to become a mathematician. I think that’s important to embrace. And if words and writing is where my joy comes from, then it’s also something I need to cultivate. I’ve been blogging, but I haven’t been doing much other writing. I need to find the time for that. I’m glad today for that reminder.

March 24

Im sorry, friends but this is going to be a short post tonight. I’m angry. Angry that it was so cold again today. I sat in my family room tonight wrapped in my robe with my feet under pillows, listening to the sound of my furnace running constantly. My hands never warmed up. It’s not right. Its just not right. I refuse to turn up the heat when it’s almost the end of March. I want to be outside. I want to open my windows. I want to complain about having to mow the lawn. At this point, I can’t imagine ever wanting to turn on the air conditioner. I long for 80 degrees and sunshine heating up my house.

So with that off my chest, let me say that I am thankful I have a working furnace and a way to keep warm. I know what I’m complaining about is minor in the grand scheme of things. I’m also thankful it’s supposed to get to 60 degrees by Sunday. That’s something to look forward to. It’s a start.

March 23

I went to some open houses today with someone who’s in the market for a first home. I love looking at houses. I love architecture and decorating. And walking through other people’s homes is so interesting to me. It amazes me sometimes how a place that can look really good from the outside doesn’t always measure up on the inside. Or how places get remodeled in such strange ways. Most of what we looked at were vacant houses. Sadly, I think several were due to foreclosures. However, it allowed us to get a view of the house without the distraction of stuff, which usually helps. Open houses can be funny though.The one house that was still lived in was shown by the owners. They had massage music playing and followed us around a bit. I almost felt bad; it has to be frustrating and a little sad to see people wandering through your house, evaluating what you’ve called home for 15 years. At another house, we were followed around by a rather odd woman who insisted on asking us questions and giving her opinion. I’m all for being friendly, but there are some times that call for keeping to your own space. For me, the awkwardness of wandering through a potential home with strangers is one of them.

There were definitely elements of some of the houses I saw that I envied. Big stone or brick fireplace walls. A theatre room. A wraparound porch. Larger yards. More space or better layouts. But at the end of the day, I went home with a renewed sense of gratitude for my own place. I got a good deal on my house. It’s in a great location. It’s not my dream house, but it works for me at this point in my life. And I’ve had other houses, so I don’t feel like I’ve really missed out on some of those things. I owned a Victorian house that had two staircases, a turret, and two porches. I had a cute little bungalow with an attic bedroom. I had a farmhouse on 10 acres with a stream going through. I’ve had the opportunity to change my decorating and remodel numerous times. And I still have that opportunity with my current house. Looking at places today gave me the desire to finish up some of the projects I started and also gave me some ideas for new ones I can consider. So I spent a while on Pinterest again tonight. I also cheated on Lowe’s and went to Menards where I found a great deal on a new light fixture and some outdoor items. It’s going to be a busy spring and summer around here.

March 22

Today I was thankful for a lot of small things:

Making it to the gym this morning for a good workout. I missed the class I enjoy going to, but I ended up running a little longer than I normally do and still got some biking in.
Putting clean sheets on my bed. I’m going to be happy about that as soon as I’m done writing tonight.
Having my kids stop home unexpectedly. They’re visiting their dad this weekend, but needed to pick up a couple of items for a birthday party tomorrow. They hung out long enough to have a proper chat over lunch.
Catching up with my younger sister over the phone. We don’t do that often enough.
Seeing the sunshine, even though it was too cold out again.
Finding ways to stay warm without turning up the thermostat. That’s always a good thing.
Eating a really good burger. I don’t often crave specific foods. Today I did and made a good choice of where to go for it. Yummm.
Watching a Dr. Who special. (There should be no need to explain that.)
Writing at the computer with my cat in my lap. Even though he isn’t very helpful.

March 21

It struck me when I got the mail tonight that the huge mound of snow which almost covered my mailbox is almost gone. Just like that. It’s funny because I had gotten so used to tiptoeing carefully out to get the mail. Every time the snow plows would go by, they’d push the snow up higher and higher in front of the box so the post wasn’t even visible. It was like my little black mailbox was sitting at the top of its own snow hill. And the built-up ice on the ground in front was precarious. Whenever we’d get a bit of a thaw, there would be a pool of water at the end of my drive, which would then freeze back over. I’d have to shuffle across the ice, step carefully to the mailbox and then onto another step I had created in the snow bank just so I could reach across the three feet of snow far enough to grab the mail without falling. Or if it was just too darn cold to even walk out there, I’d drive my car up as close as I could, which was still about 3 feet away. My car would sit at an angle while I opened the door, rolled down the window and hung out through the hole just to reach out far enough to open the door on the mailbox. I’m sure my neighbors think I’m a little crazy. But today, I was able to walk right up and get the mail, with only a small patch of snow and ice to contend with. I was thankful for that.

I was convinced all winter that I was going to slip one day and hurt myself. I have a tendency to trip over my own feet. And when I fall, I do so fabulously. It’s the stuff of cartoons. Once, when I lived in the country, unbeknownst to me, my entire yard became a sheet of ice. As I trudged to my car (I had no garage) I slipped, my entire body went airborne straight up in the air, and I came down on my back. My purse, my work bag, my coffee mug went flying. I lay there, stunned, coffee pouring out around my head, papers and junk scattered around me until a one of the outside cats slinked over and meowed. I chipped a bone in my elbow on that fall.

Another time, I was on my way into work. The concrete steps were covered in rubber, and because it was winter and my shoes were wet, I slipped going down the stairs when my heel hit the edge of the stair. Again, I flew up and came straight down on my back. This time I not only had my bags of junk, but I was also talking on my cell phone. Everything went flying. My cell phone landed at the bottom of the stairs and broke apart. Papers scattered. And I just sort of slid down the stairs on my back, completely winded. And hurt. I collected my items and limped to my office. I called the girlfriend I was talking to at the time to let her know why we were so rudely disconnected. She laughed, of course. But wow, you should have seen the bruises I sported about a week later.

Unfortunately, those falls were unwitnessed. Which is too bad because I’m sure they were hilarious. I wish I could have seen myself; I would have laughed. Another good fall I had did have a witness. It was inside at work when I was escorting a copy machine repair man down to the work room so I could unlock the door for him. As we rounded a corner, I stepped on the side of my high heeled shoe and twisted my ankle. I went down so hard on my hands and knees that my hands made an echoing slap against the floor. I’m laughing as I write this. The poor guy tried to pretend nothing happened. Thankfully, only my pride was hurt that time. And even more thankfully, no one from our police department witnessed it on the security camera. At least no one ever mentioned it to me.

So, I’m glad today I made it through the ice and snow without a major fall. At least so far. And if I have one coming up, I earnestly hope there are witnesses to enjoy it.

March 20

It’s the first day of Spring! Even though the day started out with new snow on the ground, it ended with some sunshine. I’m thankful it’s officially here on the calendar, even if it doesn’t quite feel like it yet.

March 19

I mentioned the other day that I had gotten some disturbing news. My dad had been admitted to the hospital because of dangerously low potassium levels. Once there, they determined some other things weren’t quite right, like white blood cell count and EKG. All things that pointed toward an infection of some kind, but given my dad’s history with cancer, it could also indicate a return of that dreaded disease. I’m thankful today that he was released and sent home. They got levels returned to a normal range, but they didn’t determine the reason things got off-track to begin with. I guess he now has some follow-up visits with his doctor. Of course, I’m thinking positively.

I had written a bit about my dad’s stomach cancer before. Did you know that if you lose your stomach like my dad did, they create a small pouch out of your small intestine and attach that directly to your esophagus? It makes eating a whole new experience. There’s no place, really, for food to be stored, so my dad has to eat very small amounts at a time. And can’t drink and eat much together. We started kidding him a little at family gatherings by giving him the smallest plates and cups we could find. I’d hand him a juice glass about 1/3 filled and ask him if it were too much. He’d laugh and say it was perfect, actually, thank you very much. Apparently, there is also no real separation between the new stomach and esophagus, so he would complain about the taste of things lingering and decided rather early on that what didn’t bother him as much was sweets. And he was never really one for candy and confections. Now he lives on fruit juices and a limited amount of snacks that my mom keeps stocked by his recliner. That’s not to say he doesn’t eat regular food anymore, but this is the guy who loved meat and potatoes and weighed over 200 pounds at 5’9″. Now he’s about 130 on a good day and my mom has to force him to eat a sandwich. It’s crazy to me the drastic changes one fateful thing can bring about in someone’s life. Now something as simple as an infection can mean serious complications for my dad.

I had a retired friend who used to tell me that every day he was vertical was a good day. It always made me laugh. But it’s really true. Today my dad was fine. So was everyone else important in my life. It was a good day.