February 14, 2021

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you spent time with someone you love, especially if that person is you.

Today I’m thankful for all the weirdos in my life, but especially my special one, Patrick. I can’t imagine going through this year, let alone the rest of my life with anyone else. When you find someone who not only has your back, but challenges you to be a better person, hold onto them. ❤️

February 10, 2021

It was an early morning after a restless night. After a 6 am meeting, I took the rest of the day off work and went back to bed.

For whatever reason, I’ve been starting and ending my days with headaches lately, which adds a layer to the fatigue. I think it also adds a layer to my mental fatigue. It’s hard enough to concentrate when you’re tired, but tired with a pounding head? Forget it.

After resting for a while, I felt physically better. And having a day open to doing whatever I wanted was good for my mind. I caught up on the cleaning I was too tired for on the weekend and finished some crafts I had started. It was a relaxing and not long enough. Even still, I’m thankful for this day off. I needed it.

February 9, 2021

I’m in a rut. I realized today I have the same routine. 7 am work. During the day, I think about what I want to do after work. After work, I lose my motivation and end up just checking on my personal emails then watching tv with Patrick. By 8 pm, I’m almost tired enough for bed, but I push through at least until 9 pm.

Before the pandemic hit, we went to the gym fairly regularly. When it closed, we got some inexpensive equipment to use at home. I’ve mostly avoided it. I know I need more exercise, and I also need more energy. So today after work I got on the treadmill instead. Amazingly, I did feel a bit better for a while afterwards. Enough so that I ruined the effect by making rice pudding before dinner.

At any rate, I’m thankful for the change in routine that made me feel a little better for a little while. I’m going to try to shake up the routine and get in some exercise daily. I know; I said try. Baby steps.

February 6, 2021

One of Patrick’s sisters sent us a monopoly game based on one of his favorite video games. Today we played. I lost.

Frankly, I have terrible luck with board games. He would draw a card and win money. I’d draw and lose. I went to jail at least 6 times and always landed in the spots that cost me something. He built an empire. But it was fun. And something different for today.

I mentioned previously how much I appreciate my in-laws, and that includes Patrick’s sisters too. I have four sisters already, but I was thrilled to gain two more when we got married. And they’ve been amazing to me. Not because they send fun gifts, but because they treat me like a sister. I’m so thankful for that.

February 2, 2021

Happy Groundhog Day! Do you feel like you’ve done this day before? #covidlife Today was a repeat day for me, too. Chemo treatment #3 in the books!

Patrick got the shoes in the picture!

As I mentioned before, I decided to dress up a bit for these appointments. This time, I wanted to wear a new pair of boots, so of course, it called for my purple wig. I questioned my choice when I sat in the waiting room getting side-eyed by my elderly cohorts. I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. But every nurse said they loved it and even my oncologist, when he entered the exam room, exclaimed whoa! and said he thought it was great. Not that I needed anyone’s approval, but it was nice to get the reaction I was hoping for—a smile.

I’ve had so many family and friends supporting me lately by reaching out in a variety of ways, even friends I haven’t necessarily kept in close contact with. (Thanks, social media for keeping us connected!) It hit me today I’m not always so good at doing that for others. It’s not that I don’t care, but I feel self-conscious reaching out blindly. I’ve always been more comfortable listening or watching in groups and will typically interject myself only when someone asks me to. I figure, why will they care to hear from me? I don’t know what to say/do. Social media makes it easy because we can just use an emoji on a post and call it good.

But you know what? Being the recipient now, I can clearly see it does make a difference. It’s always nice to get a message when you’re going through a difficult time. It’s ALWAYS uplifting to know people are thinking of you and wishing you well. I’m grateful every time.

I like when I can make someone smile, so why do I allow myself to hold back? I’m willing to wear a silly wig, but I can’t send a short message when someone needs it? I’m thankful today for this reminder to be better. I’m going to add it to my to-do list. Maybe like Bill Murray’s character in the movie Groundhog Day, becoming a better person will get me out of this #Covidlife we’re stuck in. Wouldn’t that be great?

February 1, 2021

Ralph Waldo Emerson is one of my favorites for quotes. He has such a way with words! I ran across this quote in one of my books recently and it stuck with me:

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget about them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

I love that he says “you shall” as if there is no other choice. I think sometimes we forget that we are in charge of ourselves, if nothing else. We can start each day as it should be started–brand new. Brand new thoughts. Brand new enthusiasm. Brand new expectations.

I tried that today instead of my typical ugh, Monday mindset. I just started my day without worrying about how lousy last week was. I let the nonsense of last week go. And you know what happened? I spent my work day busy and not overly stressed. The day went by quickly. I got done what I needed to do and made a list of what I need to get back to on Wednesday. Thanks to Emerson, this was a good day.

January 31, 2021

Patrick and I had a zoom beer tasting with some friends this afternoon. Not only was it a perfect event for a day we were snowed in, but it was great to “get together” with friends again. The guys had purchased beer a couple of weeks ago and swapped so that we all had the same ones to try. I haven’t been drinking alcohol since starting chemo, but I had a sip of each of them. I forgot how much fun we would have doing beer tastings together. It was wonderful catching up.

One thing our get-together highlighted, besides how much we all miss our beer tastings, was how important it is to have things to look forward to. I know it’s been a struggle for me. Of course, I look forward to the end of my treatments, but that’s not really enough. Normally, we’d have birthday celebrations or family visits or short trips out of town scheduled. Now we just have doctors appointments. Our friends talked about scheduling a real getaway for the end of the year or when things are back to something normal. We all agreed it sounded great.

In the spirit of having something to look forward to, I decided to apply to have a booth in a major craft faire in September. I’ve talked about wanting to do more with my crafts for a while now, so I figured it was time. If I’m accepted, it not only will give me something to look forward to, but it will also give me months of something to work towards. If I’m not accepted for the faire, then I’ll get an Etsy shop going.

I’m thankful today for the time well spent with friends. I’m also thankful for the reminder to plan for things that keep us engaged and hopeful for the future.