December 31, 2022

I was lamenting the other day that the last few years have ended lousy. In some aspects, I feel like this one has, too. Mostly because I’d like the new year not to include remnants of my breast cancer, and next year will be more plastic surgery visits and ovary removal. But here we are.

I mentioned I was disappointed when my plastic surgeon told me he would be referring me elsewhere, but I’ve come to realize why I was really upset. At the beginning of my time with him, he was extremely positive. Always hopeful. I looked forward to seeing him because it was like a glimmer of happiness during the hard days. I felt like I would eventually get back to normal. Him referring me elsewhere felt like giving up on all of that.

It’s really amazing how much we impact each other as human beings. One person’s decisions can have a ripple effect. We each take our hopes/desires/fears/expectations into every encounter we have, and it shapes us in ways we only realize later.

My doctor didn’t know how important his presence was in my journey. I never told him. His decision to drop me as a patient, I’m assuming, has less to do with me than with his clinic’s decision to stop accepting insurance.

I don’t want to enter this new year without hope. On any front. So I’m going to believe my new doctor will be amazing. I’ll finally get closure on my cancer and move on. Next year will be more than the ending of this journey. Life is good.

I hope you enter the new year knowing how much you mean to others, whether you know it or not. And remember that others actions don’t always have to do with you. Give grace. Stay optimistic. Be thankful.

December 30, 2022

I took today off work, which was probably good since my head cold was a bit worse this morning. It got better as the day went on and then worse again towards evening. Typical. I’m still hoping it doesn’t morph into anything more serious.

I’m thankful I was able to sleep in a bit. And although I ended up logging on and working for a short while in the morning, it was nice to do nothing. I’m thankful for a relaxing day.

December 29, 2022

I really hope Patrick’s head cold hasn’t found it’s way to me. I felt a bit yucky most of the day—sinus drainage and such. It probably doesn’t help that our weather has swung from -31 windchill to almost 60 degrees. Crazy. And not good on the sinuses. I might have also felt lousy from a terrible night’s sleep last night, so I’m lucky that Chance is a good snuggler.

I’m thankful today for a good conversation, good meds, hot tea and ice cream.

December 27, 2022

I’m thankful that I got massage gift cards for Christmas, and today I had a massage with my masseur’s replacement. I hate to admit that it wasn’t so good. The new guy was nice, but he seemed nervous and was inexperienced. And he wore a rubber glove because his skin was so dry he said his knuckles were split. (Um…rubber gloves do not work well during a massage, fyi.) Since he’s fresh out of school, I expect he’ll get better, but I’m also thankful there are a few other folks at the clinic to try. I really need to continue getting my range of motion back, so I’d like to find someone more experienced. At least for now.

December 26, 2022

Today I’m thankful for a day off work spent running errands and having lunch with Patrick, who is feeling slightly better from his head cold. I’m also thankful for a quick FaceTime call with Bree and Noah, who made it back home safely from their holiday travels.

December 23, 2022

Today I’m thankful that we didn’t need to leave the house in the super windy weather that supposedly felt like -31 F. It’s nice to be able to work from home. I’m also thankful that even though their power went out, my daughter and her in-laws survived the cold snap, too.

December 22, 2022

Like much of the US, we were impacted by a severe cold front today. We didn’t get a lot of snow, but the wind made it colder than usual and difficult for driving. So I’m grateful that Patrick made it home from Texas without issue. He started driving yesterday and made it home late this afternoon. It’s good to have our little family together again.