I’m thankful for another day of wasting time. Haha. Since the air quality from Canadian wildfires was bad again this weekend, Patrick took a break from painting the house. I’m updating our bedroom, so we decided to go hunting for a new comforter. As usual, the one I want is more expensive than I’d like, which means we came home empty handed. But it was fun to ignore the chores waiting for us at home for another day.

I’m thankful for a relaxing day with sunshine, for a silly walk with Barley, and for dinner out with Patrick.

I finally had a massage again today, which helped my shoulder and side pain tremendously. However, it didn’t help my hand. At least not yet. It’s still puffy. He mentioned it could be a lymphatic issue, and so did my radiation oncologist whom I saw this morning. But both of them agreed it seems to really be concentrated in my hand and not throughout my arm. I’m holding onto the hope that it’s not lymphoma.

I’m really tired of feeling sore all the time. There. I said it. Again. But I’m thankful that the massage helped with some of it. And that my doctor’s appointment this morning went well. And that my surgery is only a few weeks away.

I witnessed an accident while sitting at a stoplight on the way home. It was scary, even from a few cars back. The cars hit head on. Once all the motion stopped, folks got out the nearest cars and rushed in to help. It seemed someone may have been stuck because a couple of men opened the back of one car and started pulling out stuff—a ladder, a large cooler…I called it in to the emergency dispatch but no one answered. As the line of cars behind me started getting longer, I realized I was just blocking traffic, so I went around the chaos and continued home.

Apparently if you can’t get through on 911, they call you back. They assured me they knew about the accident and help was on the way. I had considered pulling over to try and help myself, but there was already a small crowd by the time I left. And I was really afraid to find out if someone was in the back of that car.

While I’m thankful it wasn’t me driving through that intersection, I really hope no one was severely injured.

Today I’m grateful for an easier day at work, a yummy dinner made with our garden harvest, a headache that FINALLY went away, and a thoughtful and generous friend who donated to an animal charity in honor of our Chance.

It’s been a difficult day on many levels. Work stress. Family illness worries. My stupid hand is still puffy. And today we picked up Chance’s ashes. But I’m thankful tomorrow is a new day with different possibilities.

I’m thankful for seeing my sister and brother-in-law for a brief time today, for relaxing outside, for finding fabric in the right color, and for chocolate cake my mom made.

I’m thankful today for junk shopping with my mom and then spending the evening hanging out around the fire table. It was a good day.

It hasn’t been smooth sailing, but we made it through the week without our sweet Chance. It’s been strange moving throughout the house without my shadow. I’m not used to doing things like going to the bathroom alone. Our whole routine feels off. And I keep seeing the ghost of him in all his usuals spots—hiding behind the sofa pillow, begging next to the table, standing by sliding door, waiting to go out with me. Barley also seems a bit down. He lays by the door a lot, as if he’s waiting for Chance to walk back through. I think he’s lonely.

But by the end of the week, I was doing ok. My heart had stopped sinking with every reminder. Then today we got a sweet card in the mail from a friend and a card from the animal hospital with his nose print, and I cried all over again.

We miss him. But I imagine my Dad is taking good care of him. Maybe he’s snuggled up next to our cat, Sousi, waiting for us to be reunited. As sad as I am that he is gone, I’m really just so grateful that I saw his silly little face at the animal shelter and knew I needed to make him part of the family. We were so lucky.