It’s May! I didn’t put any special baskets on my neighbors’ doors, but I did spend a good portion of the day amongst the flowers. I have a few planter pots that I needed some more items for. Because it was unseasonably warm today (at one point my phone said 88 degrees!), everyone seemed to have the same idea. Luckily it’s easy to avoid crowds outside.
I’m thankful to have spent so much time outside and have found some lovely plants. I think the one for the front door is my favorite. The plant stake that was a gift from my in-laws looks good in it, too!
I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke and couldn’t get back to sleep for several hours. I hate when that happens, especially when I’m extra tired after chemo. Therefore, I’m thankful to have made it through my day without being overly tired and crabby, which is how I get when I’m sleep deprived. The sunshine and warm weather helped, too. It so nice to be leaving winter behind. It really helps the mindset.
I’m down to 3 more treatments! Today I wore my curly wig that I’ve had for quite a while. I hadn’t worn it because it was supposed to be blonde, but it looks more gray. And it’s pretty big so I questioned whether I could pull it off. But today I decided I really didn’t care. Funny thing is that a couple of the nurses told me it was their favorite so far. Go figure.
Yesterday I wore my blue wig when I went for my bloodwork and doctor visit. My doctor loves the colors. He laughs every time he sees them and even said he suggested to his wife that she try a fun color. (She declined.) His nurse told me that when another nurse commented that a patient had a colorful wig on, she replied, “Oh, that’s Melissa!” I’m guessing not too many other patients are as noticeable. And the lady who checks us in every day always comments on my shoes or outfit. She also wears funky attire, and we’ve bonded over shoes.
I go to the cancer center so often that when I get in the car, my phone gives me a notice telling me how long it will take me to get there. So it makes me happy to have connected to the staff and know that they smile when they see me. I’m thankful that I pushed aside my early doubts about wearing silly wigs and my doubt about today’s choice. It’s fun to step outside my comfort zone in this way. It’s been a good reminder that sometimes we hold ourselves back because we think we’ll look or seem silly, when really we just look like our original selves.
I read this today and started thinking about what I’ve learned so far during my cancer journey. I’ve learned that while it’s not a strong suit, I do have patience when I need it. It’s been a long 5 months, but the end keeps getting closer. I haven’t been able to change this course or speed it up or deviate from it. I’ve simply had to keep going and be patient, trusting that the end will come and it will be a good one. I’m thankful for this.
When I think about the opportunities on this path, it’s a bit harder. Sure I’ve had the opportunity to think about my life in a broader sense, to reflect on the important things as any major illness will inspire and try to prioritize the important things. But I’m still looking for the opportunities that may wait. I like the idea that something random and good could come along side the bad. Life can be both at the same time.
We were outside with the pups this evening like normal, and while I was sitting on our stone wall watching them, I also kept looking at the trees. Everything was budding and lovely. The breeze was warm, the sun was out, and I was once again thankful for the space we have and our moments in it.
Why do weekends not last long enough? This one seemed to go by extra quick. Although I got all the typical weekend stuff done—laundry and vacuuming and mopping—fun remains on my to-do list. I’ll have to find time this week for it.
I am grateful though that the chemo side effects were mild enough this time that I only needed Tylenol once on Saturday. The rest of the weekend, I was able to endure the aches without much trouble. That’s such a huge win.