Tag Archives: mothers

Feb 1

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So my daughter and I were talking today, I don’t remember about what, when she said to me, “You sound like Grandma.” Hmmm. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of that at first, so I replied, “Well, I guess that means you’ll sound like me one day.” “I’m ok with that.” No hesitation on her part. Immediate response.

That got me thinking. First, I was touched that she really saw nothing off-putting in eventually taking on some of my mannerisms or traits or whatever it was in me that prompted her to say I sounded like my mother. Once again, it reminded me that I have a pretty special kid. Then I wondered why it bothered me a tad to think that I’m echoing my mom. After all, I love my mom.  But I guess there’s a stigma attached to turning into your parents. Something about it smacks of being old and out of date. Maybe because it’s usually the time someone starts saying things like you really shouldn’t be doing that and it’s getting late, I should be going home or when I was your age…  However, that’s not always accurate, and it’s ignoring the truth of life. We all influence each other; the closer we are, the more influence we have. Why wouldn’t I want to sound like my mother? To emulate her? After all, she’s loving, she’s funny, she’s generous and loyal. She doesn’t harbor grudges or ill-will towards anyone.

It’s also from her that I learned that being silly and having fun are essential parts of life, no matter how old you are. I have fond memories of my mother doing things like starting food fights or water fights at home. Sometimes she’d even succeed in getting my dad involved. And when my mom and sisters came to visit for our girls weekend last November, my mom, who rarely swears and never misses church on Sunday, was the first one telling a raunchy joke. She’s as quick-witted and sarcastic as the rest of us, but she also readily laughs at herself when she knows she’s been bested.  She’s also the first one in my corner when I need something–even if it’s a hard dose of the truth. Mostly, though, she’s quietly supportive.  I have a collection of cards from her over the years. The kind that start with, I’m so proud of you… or I was just thinking of you… 

My mother. One very cool lady. I’m thankful today that my daughter reminded me of that. I really don’t know who else I’d rather be like.

Day 19

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I’m lucky to have a wonderful mother, but unlucky to have her living in a different state. While we talk often, we don’t see each other as much as I’d like. My father has Alzheimer’s so they don’t travel as much as they used to. It doesn’t matter how old I get, there’s something special about being with my mother. It makes me feel grounded somehow, protected, sheltered when I’m with her. In a strange way, it lifts the burdens of my own life because with her, my primary role is daughter. Not mother, teacher, homeowner, bill payer…with her I’m mostly daughter. It’s a nice break.

While I can’t be with her often, I am privileged to have other women in my life who help me feel similarly. One is a woman who has become somewhat of a surrogate mother. She has no children of her own, and we have jokingly said that we’ve adopted each other. Hers is the name I put down on forms that request an alternate family member contact. She’s the one I call when I’m needing a literal shoulder to cry on. And she has supported me in every conceivable way in the past 15 or so years I’ve been blessed to have her in my life. It’s without guilt that I send her a Mother’s Day card in addition to my “real” mother. The other woman in my life I’ve known equally as long, having worked with her at the college before her retirement, and now after as a part-time employee in my department. We’ve become closer in recent years through mutual life events. She’s become a trusted advisor and confidante and is one of those classy women most of us aspire to be.

I had both of them over for brunch this morning. The three of us don’t always get together at the same time, so we had fun sharing stories and decorating ideas. It was a relaxing morning and the time sped by while we got caught up. It’s wonderful to have people in my life whose friendship is so comfortable and effortless. It’s even better when they feel like family. I’m so thankful to have them in my life.