July 1

A friend of mine posted a link on her Facebook page that said, if you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in two words? I didn’t comment on it there, but I’ve thought about it since I saw it. Her comment was “stay single,” understandable since she’s going through a difficult time in a relationship right now. Maybe I would have wanted to tell my younger self those same words when I went through my divorce. After all, at the time it seemed like it would be easier to avoid connections altogether than to endure the heartache that follows a break up. But I know I wouldn’t have listened. Relationships are too important to me. So I came up with a bunch of 2 word phrases I could say to my younger self that I think might make a difference in my life today:

travel more, be patient, avoid drama, live purposefully, wait longer, stop worrying, eat healthier, avoid (I’d insert a name here), speak up, practice more, learn guitar, enjoy it, wear swimsuits, pray more, don’t assume…

The list could go on and on. There’s a lot I wish my younger self knew. However, the one two-word combination that I think would make the most impact would be love you. If I were smart enough, I’d see it as both a commentary and a directive. Love you. You’re valuable. You’re important. You’re worth it.  Love you.  Take care of yourself.  Don’t ignore your needs.  Don’t put yourself last all the time.  I’m thankful that I’m learning to be better at it, but in my younger days I really struggled with the belief that my worth was based on the expectations of others. Believing that I had to prove I was worthy of love, that it was somehow conditional on what I could bring to the table, so to speak. I wish I realized sooner that being lovable is inherent in simply being who you are, not what you can be or do for people. I would have saved myself a lot of disappointment. After all, not everyone is going to love you, no matter what you do for them. Ultimately, it’s more rewarding to find the ones who love you, regardless.

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