March 29, 2022

So, I have a story. I’ve been trying to get my postponed other doctor visits out of the way. Yearly physical. Check. Teeth cleaning, check. Eye doctor. Check. Last Friday I went to the gynecologist. The dreaded doctor for anyone born a female. Gynecological checks are, arguably, even more personal and invasive than prostate exams. They involve archaic devices and a doctors head *this* close to the privates, complete with lights and magnifying glasses. The most we can hope for is an exam that is brief and painless.

That was not my visit. My last doctor moved out of state several years ago. The doctor I saw was a temporary replacement. He was pleasant. Looked seasoned. But because I had had abnormal exam results in the past, I was scheduled for a colposcopy. I can’t be certain he had done one previously. About 15 minutes in, he sighed heavily. The nurse and I exchanged worried glances. I mentioned that it didn’t sound good, and he mumbled something under his breath before deciding he needed other equipment and left the room. The nurse said she thought maybe he couldn’t see well through the glasses. We made small talk. Finally he came back and took up his position again and proceeded with the exam, which then consisted of swabs and scrapes. When he left the room a second time for additional supplies, I asked the nurse to verify that he was, indeed, a gynecologist. She assured me he was.

Overall, the exam lasted at least 30 minutes if not 45 and ended with four biopsies, although the doctor assured me it was more out of an abundance of caution than real concern. When I finally sat up, I became so lightheaded I almost passed out and had a hot flash, so I had to wait a little bit to collect myself before I could leave. When the nurse came back in to check on me, neither of us knew what to say. I finally stuttered out, well that was something, and she offered me ibuprofen before disappearing.

Crazy. But here’s my thankful part. I saw the results in my health chart today, and the results were benign. For all the weirdness with that doctor, he was right. Nothing to worry about. He also told me that if the results were fine, then I shouldn’t worry about it again for at least a few years. Maybe six. And that’s what I’m going to do.

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