Well, it’s less than 2 days to my surgery, and I’m starting to think about it. I’m always nervous before surgery (who isn’t??) but this time I’m also excited about it. So long, rocks! I cannot wait for my chest to feel normal again. Or as normal as it can be considering it will still be implants.

Things I’m looking forward to after a year:

Laying on my stomach. Getting a good massage because I can lay on my stomach. Breathing normally. Maybe getting a full stretch out of my left arm. Wearing shirts that fit properly. Wearing shirts with stripes that don’t zigzag weirdly across my uneven breasts. Sleeping on my side. Holding something against my chest. Giving really tight hugs. Bending over without pain. Jumping jacks.

Just kidding on that last one. I don’t care if I can do jumping jacks again.

I’m trying to focus on the positives with this surgery and not on what makes me nervous about it. But today I was talking to someone who asked if I was going to be ok on Friday. Um, yes. I’d better be. And don’t jinx me like that. I told Patrick that if something crazy happened and I died on the table, my plastic surgeon better finish up. I’m not going out without great boobs. I’ve waited too long.

Probably the biggest thing that makes me nervous is not knowing what to expect afterwards. Since I’ll also be getting fat grafting, I’ll have some pain/discomfort from the liposuction to my stomach, but who knows how much. Or what my stomach will eventually look like. And although my plastic surgeon discussed how he would pull up some of my stomach skin to help create the missing inframammary fold on my left side, I just can’t visualize the outcome.

There are still a lot of “what ifs” rolling around in my head, yet my gratitude for finally being at the end of this long path is going to win out. It’s going to be fine. Maybe even good. Or great. After all, I have a lot of things I’m looking forward to.