December 21, 2022

I saw my plastic surgeon today, and it did not go well. In his opinion, my only option to repair the damage caused by my radiated skin is to take skin and fat from my side or stomach and replace some of the damaged skin in an attempt to relax it again. He doesn’t think going to smaller implants would be a good option because my skin may not heal as well. I could remove the implants altogether, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. He ended our appointment with the news that he would also need to refer me to a another doctor. The clinic he is working in has decided to stop accepting insurance, and thus stopped doing breast reconstructions completely. He said I’m his last reconstruction patient. And now he’s ditching me.

I was pretty upset as I left. It’s been a long process and I keep expecting it to be done. Honestly, I felt a bit betrayed. Disappointed in my options, but mostly disappointed that this doctor who was so passionate about helping women with breast cancer when I first met him has given up on me.

But I’m going to be ok. I’ll take his referral and continue my journey elsewhere. Maybe the next doctor will agree with his assessment of my options, or maybe he or she will have another suggestion. Maybe there’s nothing more to be done.

Today I’m thankful for supportive family and friends who help me stay positive, for Christmas lights that always make me smile, and for cookies. Because…cookies. Mmm.

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