December 31, 2022

I was lamenting the other day that the last few years have ended lousy. In some aspects, I feel like this one has, too. Mostly because I’d like the new year not to include remnants of my breast cancer, and next year will be more plastic surgery visits and ovary removal. But here we are.

I mentioned I was disappointed when my plastic surgeon told me he would be referring me elsewhere, but I’ve come to realize why I was really upset. At the beginning of my time with him, he was extremely positive. Always hopeful. I looked forward to seeing him because it was like a glimmer of happiness during the hard days. I felt like I would eventually get back to normal. Him referring me elsewhere felt like giving up on all of that.

It’s really amazing how much we impact each other as human beings. One person’s decisions can have a ripple effect. We each take our hopes/desires/fears/expectations into every encounter we have, and it shapes us in ways we only realize later.

My doctor didn’t know how important his presence was in my journey. I never told him. His decision to drop me as a patient, I’m assuming, has less to do with me than with his clinic’s decision to stop accepting insurance.

I don’t want to enter this new year without hope. On any front. So I’m going to believe my new doctor will be amazing. I’ll finally get closure on my cancer and move on. Next year will be more than the ending of this journey. Life is good.

I hope you enter the new year knowing how much you mean to others, whether you know it or not. And remember that others actions don’t always have to do with you. Give grace. Stay optimistic. Be thankful.

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