July 7, 2021

Over the last year Patrick and I have joked occasionally that after the pandemic, people will start taking vacations on their own. Everyone will be tired of being cooped up with their significant others and need time apart. Of course, we plan to take a vacation together after all my treatments are done, and we can figure out a time that works with Patrick’s teaching schedule.

In the meantime, however, today I planned a vacation without him. My mom and sisters suggested we go on a cruise together next year, so we booked one today for March while the deal was good. I hope by then the booster shot is available and the world is a bit more normal, but we got insurance just in case. It would be great if all my sisters can go, but a couple are still thinking about it.

I’m thankful that Patrick encouraged me to go without him, and I’m thankful to have something fun to look forward to after this year.

July 6, 2021

My youngest daughter is in town for her best friend’s wedding. Yay! Today she brought me lunch. I think I need to convince her to move back to the area. It’s good to have her around. We laugh a lot, and I miss that. Happily, she’ll be in town all week, so I’ll be able to see her again before she leaves. I’m thankful for this added time to see her.

July 5, 2021

I’m thankful to have had the day off work today. While it was extra warm, there was a fabulous breeze and a lot of sunshine. I spent as much time outside as I could. Even so, I was able to get some items listed on my Etsy shop. Finally! It’s been a bit frustrating and I’ve been a bit lazy. I needed to take more photos and figure out shipping. I have a few more items to go before I can open the shop, but I’m happy to have it started.

July 3, 2021

The other night I met up with a friend whom I’ve not seen in person for months. It was impromptu and overdue. While sipping drinks on an outdoor patio, we discussed cancer treatments (mine and her mom’s), jobs, and family. It was great to catch up.

I left our get together feeling uneasy, though. Until I realized that she reminded me of how stalled I still feel right now. She’s constantly on the go, and she has a lot going on—meeting up with people, making work connections, traveling. I feel like the last 8 months for me have been like trying to run on sand. Eventually you get somewhere, but it’s not going to be fast.

I’m not saying that I could change much looking back. Chemo and COVID were a lousy mix. It was necessary for us to hibernate, and it’s still necessary to be a little cautious until my surgery and radiation is over. (Gah! When will surgeons get this scheduled already?!) But I’m so ready for movement again. Not that Patrick and I have ever been THAT busy outside our house, but we used to see other people on the regular. At least at work.

I’m thankful for these steps back into socializing and I look forward to the days we can stop being fearful that living normally will postpone my treatments.

July 1, 2021

It’s probably not natural to be as excited as I am to see nose hair. I should clarify—my own nose hair. In just the last week, I’ve seen a substantial increase in hair growth in both my nose and my eyebrows. In fact, my eyebrows are becoming visible to the naked eye. Yaaas.

I don’t even care that my eyebrows are growing in a wild, haphazard way. I’m going to give them free reign for a while. I’ll restrain them later when I can no longer feel the lack. Right now I’m thankful for the return of all that was lost. I am hoping I don’t sprout a mustache though. That would be too much.

June 29, 2021

I mentioned yesterday that I saw my original plastic surgeon, but I realized I hadn’t explained what happened since I first saw him. A couple of months after my initial appointment, I got a call from his office saying that he was leaving the medical group and I would be referred to a different doctor. Rumor was something happened during a renegotiation of his contract. While I never heard any specifics, someone who is friends with his wife told me that he was disappointed and wanted to stay.

In the meantime, I was referred to another doctor who was fine, but not someone I was enthusiastic with. When I asked about the procedure, she didn’t offer options. She was rather adamant that the only method she would do was under the muscle implants.

Then I started hearing from nurses and other doctors that my original surgeon was working with another clinic in town, and I had the option to go back to him. Most seemed to be genuinely happy he was still around. When I pressed folks for an opinion (not really expecting a definitive one) the responses were the same. When I mentioned her name, they said she would be fine. I took that to mean that both were skilled but he was probably easier to work with.

In some respects, I was annoyed that I had to think about all this again. Not just which doctor to go with, but what procedure to do. There is not good data out there. Most searches bring up plastic surgery sites, which aren’t the most reliable, as they lean towards what the doctor prefers or is most skilled at.

So I bounced my ideas and concerns off my family and friends. Read what I could and also prayed about it. Today I let my general surgeon know that I’d be going with my original plastic surgeon, so they could work on getting surgery scheduled. Ultimately, I like that he suggested a procedure but said he would do whatever I chose because it was my decision. I’m thankful that I feel comfortable with it and things will move forward again.

June 28, 2021

Patrick and I were still rather exhausted today even after a regular night of sleep. What is it about just riding in a car that is so tiring? Although we did get out and leave by 5 am after a late evening at the wedding…I think I just answered my own question. At any rate, I’m thankful that I took today off work so that I could get everything unpacked and laundry done.

I also met with my original plastic surgeon today. He joined a different practice in town but still has rights at the hospital I’ll be going to. He answered some more questions I had and discussed his suggestion for surgery. I now have to decide if I’m going with him or the plastic surgeon I was referred to as a second choice. I need to do a bit more research on surgery options, but I am grateful to have a choice again.