Feb 2

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Super bowl Sunday. I actually like football. I enjoy watching a good football game. And I have asked enough questions over the years to have a pretty basic understanding of it: the calls, the strategy, the penalties. Unfortunately, today’s game wasn’t that exciting. When one team dominates so early on, it takes a bit of the fun out of it. Although, admittedly, I wasn’t rooting for either team, even though I kind of like Seattle’s team colors better than the Bronco’s. At any rate, I went to a Super bowl party at a friend’s house, like a lot of people do. We overate on junk food and beer and chatted with the football game playing in the background. Again, like a lot of people do.

At one point, one of my friends commented that football really isn’t important–why do we make such a fuss about it. Shouldn’t we be showing more important things on tv? (Exactly why I left early to make it home in time to watch Sherlock, but I digress.)  I understand what she meant. In the grand scheme of things, football doesn’t matter, I guess. The world would go on without football teams and half-time shows by the current hot-list musical artist and numerous, odd automobile advertisements. The state of the economy is more important. Our healthcare crises is definitely more important. Education, poverty, family values…so many, many more important things to worry about than football. So much to worry about.

But look at what football did today. In my little world, it drew a handful of friends together to have a party. In New Jersey it drew crowds together to cheer for a team. Football creates some measure of pride and unity in whole cities and even states. We wear team jerseys and fly team flags. I’ve seen cars sporting logos or painted team colors. We love having something to cheer for. Believe in. We need that. I think we need football and all sports the same way we need music and art and literature and movies. It helps to balance out the heaviness of life. It helps to offset some of those never-ending worries. It helps us escape for a little bit and draws us closer together in the process. How many times have you met a complete stranger, found out you shared a love of the same thing (team, movie, book) and somehow felt connected? THAT is what’s important. Anything that helps us to connect with each other  is worth making a little bit of fuss over.

I’ve said crazier stuff. But today, I’m thankful for football.

 

Feb 1

Posted on by under Uncategorized

So my daughter and I were talking today, I don’t remember about what, when she said to me, “You sound like Grandma.” Hmmm. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of that at first, so I replied, “Well, I guess that means you’ll sound like me one day.” “I’m ok with that.” No hesitation on her part. Immediate response.

That got me thinking. First, I was touched that she really saw nothing off-putting in eventually taking on some of my mannerisms or traits or whatever it was in me that prompted her to say I sounded like my mother. Once again, it reminded me that I have a pretty special kid. Then I wondered why it bothered me a tad to think that I’m echoing my mom. After all, I love my mom.  But I guess there’s a stigma attached to turning into your parents. Something about it smacks of being old and out of date. Maybe because it’s usually the time someone starts saying things like you really shouldn’t be doing that and it’s getting late, I should be going home or when I was your age…  However, that’s not always accurate, and it’s ignoring the truth of life. We all influence each other; the closer we are, the more influence we have. Why wouldn’t I want to sound like my mother? To emulate her? After all, she’s loving, she’s funny, she’s generous and loyal. She doesn’t harbor grudges or ill-will towards anyone.

It’s also from her that I learned that being silly and having fun are essential parts of life, no matter how old you are. I have fond memories of my mother doing things like starting food fights or water fights at home. Sometimes she’d even succeed in getting my dad involved. And when my mom and sisters came to visit for our girls weekend last November, my mom, who rarely swears and never misses church on Sunday, was the first one telling a raunchy joke. She’s as quick-witted and sarcastic as the rest of us, but she also readily laughs at herself when she knows she’s been bested.  She’s also the first one in my corner when I need something–even if it’s a hard dose of the truth. Mostly, though, she’s quietly supportive.  I have a collection of cards from her over the years. The kind that start with, I’m so proud of you… or I was just thinking of you… 

My mother. One very cool lady. I’m thankful today that my daughter reminded me of that. I really don’t know who else I’d rather be like.

Day 31

Posted on by under Uncategorized

I took my permit-wielding daughter driving tonight in the dark and the snow for the first time. My leg aches from the air braking I was doing. My jaw aches from the clenching. But we are both still alive. That, my friends, is enough to be thankful for on this last day of January.

Day 30

Posted on by under Uncategorized

A couple of quick things today.

First, my snow blower works great. And I was able to help out a neighbor with her drive. Ok, I didn’t actually use the snow blower on her drive, but I did send my kids over with shovels to help her while I figured out how to start my new machine. I’m just sad I actually needed to use it. Show of hands on who is tired of winter.

Second, I have a friend who asked me to attend her daughter’s school play with her tonight. I ended up not going, which is not what I am thankful for (not really). Although I do have to admit to some harsh parental realism…school plays and other general, auditorium-based functions at the grade school level are torture for me. Don’t get me wrong, I was as proud as any parent to see my kids squirming and semi-singing from 50 yards away. They’d be dressed up in whatever holiday attire was appropriate at the time and inevitably standing behind someone twice their size, with me thinking…why? Why were they required to wear a Hawaiian grass skirt when it’s not even visible? My kid looks like a floating head. They should just require headgear. But even that isn’t what bothered me the most at these school functions. It was the lack of space and terrible sound systems. So many family members crammed into a hot, smelly gymnasium to hear a mashing of voices or just those couple of really loud kids… Then again, maybe it was just the schools my children went to. I’m sure there are probably schools that put on wonderful programs by talented children in spacious auditoriums that have fabulous sound systems. I would then have to amend my thinking.

I jest, a little. I know these school functions are a passage of child rearing that plays an important role for kids and their parents. They are moments to be proud of our kids and let them know it in a visible, public way. My children always looked for me in the audience and I always smiled and waved excitedly. And I would have done that tonight for my friend’s daughter. Being asked to go made me feel like family. And when it ended up that her boyfriend was able to get off of work, I let them go as a family without me. I’m sure there will be other opportunities over the years to join in. But today, I’m thankful to know my friend thinks highly enough of me to be part of her child’s life in that way. For that, I would have happily gone.

 

Day 29

Posted on by under Uncategorized

I love music. All kinds. I have favorites, of course, but I have been known to listen to some bluegrass and then turn around and listen to heavy metal. I love some types more than others. I can honestly say I’m not a huge fan of accordion music, although I saw a rock band last night whose lead singer played it. I admit that it put an interesting twist on it. I also am not thrilled with the really heavy metal that is mostly screaming, yet some days…it really seems appropriate.  I’ve never understood people who are so anti-whole genres of music. Usually there’s some song or artist within an genre that is a draw for me and I certainly don’t love every artist or every song of a whole genre.  Over the years,  I’ve come to the conclusion that people fall into different camps when it comes to listening to music: those who simply like the sound and pay little attention to actual lyrics and those who find the lyrics essential to the song overall. I’m in the second camp. I can hear a song that doesn’t necessarily grab me right away, but once I read the lyrics, it speaks to me differently. It’s as if the music itself makes more sense. Like the sound effects in movies–it enhances the story.

It really should be no surprise that lyrics draw me in. As I mentioned in a previous post, I love words. To me, songs are simply poetry set to music, and I even take that approach in classes I teach. I have my students bring in their favorite songs, and we read the lyrics as we would a poem. It’s always interesting to me and my students the different meanings we come up with when dissecting lyrics. I tell them that songs, especially, speak to us on an emotional level. Sometimes we put the meaning we want into what we hear. We personalize it to our own lives. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. As a writer myself, I love that. I want my poetry to be universal. Of course, I know the story behind what I’ve written; it has my own personal meaning. But I think all artists in every art form want their audience to be moved by the art, and the way to do that is to connect with people’s emotions.

The concert I went to last night was of one of my favorite bands, Stone Sour. While I love the sound, they’re a favorite mostly because I really appreciate the lyrics to their songs. So many of them tell stories, but not in a trite way. My description is intelligent rock music. I imagine some of their fan base need to consult a dictionary when looking up the lyrics. I had the opportunity to meet the band members (all amazingly gracious and down-to-earth guys off stage) and tell that to the lead singer, Corey Taylor. I won’t document his entire response which included some swearing, but in a nut shell, he thanked me. Apparently, it’s exactly their intent.

So today I’m thankful that I got the opportunity to hear a favorite band live and chat about such things as the importance of lyrics with the members, but even more thankful for music in general. I can’t imagine life without it.

Day 28

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Usually I write these posts at the end of the day. It seems to make sense to me to wait until my day is over to realize what has really struck me. Sometimes I’m not even sure until I sit down at the computer. I just let the words come out honestly and take shape in front of me. Today I’m writing early because I’m headed out of town and I’m not sure what my internet connection status will be later. I figured, better safe than sorry. But I also know one thing I’m grateful for already today: taking chances.

It is so easy to play life safe. To sit on the sidelines and watch from the slight comfort of our fold up chair. How many parents do this with their children? Urge their kids to try out for sports or cheerleading or play the musical instrument they were too afraid to pick up when they were a kids themselves. Most of us–because it’s easier to live vicariously through someone else. I think that’s why Americans are obsessed with celebrities. They don’t seem to have the limits the rest of us do. With money and power and a staff of helpers, we would probably all become a bit more risk-takers. I imagine the fallout doesn’t seem as bad when you’re insulated. But how many things do we miss by not getting involved ourselves? Not getting into the nitty gritty dirty thing called life. Some of my friends have been surprised recently to learn about how much I’ve been doing on my own. Not just house stuff, but social things. If I don’t have a willing friend, I decided I’d just go out by myself. That’s what I’m doing today. Heading into Chicago for a concert.

I believe life isn’t about staying inside our own bubble wrap. It’s no fun in there. Sure, getting hurt sucks, physically and emotionally. And it’s usually the emotional hurts that scare us the most. Breaking bones can heal quicker than a broken heart or spirit. It takes immense trust and courage to hand over your heart to someone and ask them to take care of it. Especially when the last person stuck it in their pocket and forgot about it. Or shoved pins into it. Stepped on it. You get the idea. I’ve got quite a few bandages still wrapped around mine. But I’m willing to take a chance again because I personally think we are made for connections. Sometimes family is enough or a circle of friends is enough. Yet sometimes it isn’t and it’s time to cross our fingers and take off the insulation and jump into the messiness of life. Sure, it could end up badly. It could hurt again. But it also could turn out to be wonderful. After all, I’d rather take a risk and fall than spend my life standing on the edge, wondering what it feels like to fly.

Day 27

Posted on by under Uncategorized

I was able to hang out with my kids again today (thank you, horrible weather, for the school closings again). We had brunch together once I got them out of bed just before noon. Then ran some errands.  Nothing too exciting. But that’s one of the cool things about my kids, they’re really easy to get along with. I ask them to help out, they do. I ask them to keep the noise level down late at night, they apologize. They sense I’m in a bad mood, they ask what they can do.  I’ve been really lucky.

They’ve always been pretty good. Well, they’ve gone through their phases, of course. Terrible twos (through fours!). The 10-12 year age when they were soooo emotional and couldn’t stand each other. My oldest had what we affectionately call the “dark” time when she was into anime and all the things associated with it (hair over the face, hoodies with animal ears, fingerless gloves ALL the time, and everything in shades of black). Then again, she had several obsessions over the years that translated into oddities which sometimes encompassed her sister. The Lord of the Rings period was interesting. Nothing quite like taking kids dressed as elves to McDonalds. That gets you noticed. My youngest has followed suit, as far as age-related phases, but she’s had her singular moments as well. She’s fiercely independent, yet extremely accepting. It took her a long time to understand personal space. I had a few conversations with teachers over the early years about that. Apparently, not everyone needs a hug. (I personally disagree, but for the sake of the introverts, my daughter learned appropriate boundaries.)

Formative nuances aside, I have two incredible daughters. They are well-adjusted, intelligent, interesting young woman who, strangely enough at 16 and 19, still enjoy hanging out with me. Together, we have been through some interesting ups and downs, moved numerous times, and shared heartaches of losing people we love. They could have given me a lot of grief over the years, acted out, gotten angry as a lot of teenagers do for disrupting their lives in one way or another. But amazingly, they never have. Instead, they have been loyal and supportive to me. My oldest is the type who will come up to me and tell me that I haven’t hugged her enough lately; she needs a hug. My youngest never asks, of course. She’s still a good hugger.  But she’s quick to ask if she senses something is wrong. They also get along well with each other. Just today they were reminiscing about the time they both first got cell phones. They had spent the better part of an evening calling each other and leaving funny messages, so they could laugh together later.

Today, even when there was nothing special going on, we found ways to laugh together. Tease each other and be silly.  Today and every day, I’m really thankful for that. I’m really blessed to have them in my life.

Day 26: Buried in Snow

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Once again, the weather has turned to crud. I woke this morning to more snow on my driveway. I don’t necessarily mind shoveling snow, but when the temperature drops to something around zero, it’s not fun. And the street plows typically show up about ten minutes after I’m done, shoving all the wet, compacted snow back into the end of my drive like a mini barricade. My next door neighbor (nice guy) has also taken it on himself to snow blow out a path on our adjoining yards to the fire hydrant located on our plot line. I’m sure he means well, but he shoots the snow towards my drive, adding more height to the dangerously high mound already there. Now, I’m not a tall person. When I shovel, I somehow need to toss the snow over this mound that’s darn near my height already. I’ve not said anything to my neighbor, but I really wish he’d shoot the snow into his own yard. He is about a foot taller than I am–and he has that darn snow blower on top of it! But I was raised Catholic, which means I have an innate sense of doom when it comes to these things. I know if I make this a problem, and he doesn’t plow out our fire hydrant, it’s my house going up in flames. With no hydrant visible.

So I say nothing and shovel and toss. Thankfully, the wind has been whipping through here at about 50 miles per hour. It almost just pulls the snow off of my shovel if I can get it up high enough. Of course, I need to be upwind for this to be truly effective. I’ve discovered throwing snow into the wind only gets my face chapped. And sends the snow back across the drive for me to chase. I hope someone had fun watching that one. I have gotten lucky, however. There have been a few occasions where I’ve gone outside to discover that a neighbor (not the aforementioned one) has come by and snow blown my drive for me. And a couple of times the lady across the street has walked over with her blower to help me after the snow plow came through after an hour of shoveling. I’m grateful for the help, but it makes me feel guilty. Most of my neighbors are retirees. I should be helping them. That’s how I was raised.

So today I’m thankful I needed to make yet another trip to Lowes. There I discovered a snow blower on clearance. A very nice, shiny red one that someone had returned for apparently a silly reason. I was assured it worked just fine, but because it had been returned, it was discounted. Not as much as I’d have preferred, but significantly. Enough to get it into my car. I’m still hoping it doesn’t snow another flake for the rest of the winter, but if it does, I’m now ready.

Day 25

Posted on by under Uncategorized

Spontaneity | #spontaneous #quote #inspiration #life #inspirationalquote

I love how my days can start out one way and end completely differently than I expected. Everything I had planned for my day somehow changed as it went on, and that was ok. I didn’t get my dining room painted. I didn’t go to the gym. In fact, I got nothing done on my invisible to-do list. Instead, in a rather impromptu way, I ended up spending time this evening with a couple of girlfriends. We shared a meal, some laughter and then went to see a movie. I’m thankful I have friends who are spontaneous and a lifestyle that allows me to be.

Day 24

Posted on by under Uncategorized

I honestly found it difficult today to think of something I am grateful for. I was crabby for most of the day. It was cold and blah. My work day dragged on. I had an afternoon meeting I wasn’t excited about. I had to force myself to go to the gym after work. I couldn’t find anything exciting in the refrigerator to eat for dinner. Really, all I wanted to do was complain.

So I stopped to think about the big picture. Nothing dreadful happened to me today. That’s a really good thing.

And then I thought about all the little things in-between my complaints. I have a job and I got there today because my car started, even in this weather. During my day, I spoke to numerous friends and acquaintances, some who simply checked in to say hello or emailed funny photos they thought would make me smile. My daughter stopped by my office to laugh about how she stalled her new car on her way to work. Then texted me later to say how she stalled it about 20 more times going to her dad’s house, but made it there safely. My niece sent a message, saying she got accepted into DePaul University, something she’s been hoping for and planning on for a long time. I had the chance to see several colleagues in my afternoon meeting and had an interesting discussion about teacher/student expectations during the learning process. A friend I hadn’t seen in a while met me at the gym and we had the chance to catch up over an hour on the treadmill. Then we made plans to get together again over the weekend. And because I found nothing decent to eat, I ate junk. Well, I added cheese to my popcorn, so I think that counts as something halfway good for me.

Once again, when it comes right down to it, I really don’t have much to complain about. Not every day is exciting, but there’s always something to be thankful for. Even if it’s just in the details.