Day 8

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m glad I’m back to work.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the holidays. I loved having time off; I even said more than once that it wasn’t enough time off. But the truth is, I’m a much better person on a routine. Give me days with no structure, and I end up being completely unproductive. I started my vacation with a long list of things I intended to accomplish: wallpaper the family room, paint trim, organize the bags of papers in my office, practice guitar with the online lessons I bought, clean my bedroom, hang new light fixtures, install new faucets, and get caught up on tv shows. I didn’t even travel over the break, thinking I would be so involved in my house projects that it would be best to stay home.  I started out ok. I looked for wallpaper. But then I watched Netflix and got caught up on The Walking Dead. I stayed up late doing so and slept in late, knowing I didn’t HAVE to be anywhere. Once I started my day late and lazy, I had no motivation for dragging out paint or tools for hanging fixtures. So I watched more Netflix. And then moved on to the Hallmark Channel’s constant line-up of sappy Christmas movies that never fail to suck me in. I also accepted invitations to eat out for dinner and go to holiday open houses and plays. Basically, I wasted my holiday vacation doing nothing except whatever felt good at the moment. That’s not a horrible thing, I admit. I haven’t had that luxury in a long time. I also made some great memories with my children and friends. I don’t regret that.

However, I’m really a doer at heart. I have a strong need to be productive and useful. When I become physically unengaged, I find my mind turns a bit to mush as well. I’m not as focused and I begin to feel overwhelmed. My to-do list hangs over me and makes me feel guilty. Therefore, I’m glad to be back to the routine of a daily schedule. I’m sure I’ll complain about it soon; there’s going to be too much to do and not enough time to do it. But I’ll feel a little more balanced. It will be easier to go to the gym right after work than to leave the house to do so. I’ll know that I don’t have a lot of time to waste, so I’ll quit putting things off until later. I’ll use my weekend time a bit more wisely too. I’ll need to–all that time in front of the tv made me realize that I don’t like my tv cabinet. That will need to change. And the walls still need something, even if it’s not wallpaper. That means I’ll need to paint the walls. Of course if I change the color, I may need to change up some of the artwork…Yes. It’s a good thing I’m back at work. I have way too much on my to-do list already.

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