August 1

Wow. I can’t believe it’s August already. This is day 213…we are well over half way through this year. Soon school will start for everyone and fall will be upon us. As much as I love the fall trees and apple cider and cool evenings, I am not ready for it. Not at all. I still need a vacation (not happening) and I still have a house that isn’t fully painted (can that wait until next summer??). And besides, this summer has been so abnormally cool that it hasn’t even seemed like a summer. Doesn’t it sometimes feel like time is a falling star? Just as you see it moving, it’s gone. It’s been that way for me lately. (Ok, outside of the static zone of my office at work.) My days just vanish. And yet I feel like I haven’t moved. Those of you who follow my blog can probably guess how much that bothers me. I need to feel progress; I get anxious without it. I keep trying to live in the moment and not worry about the future, but it’s like fighting gray hair. Uneasiness keeps creeping back. So this week was actually another tough one for me. Too many nettlesome thoughts noodling around in my head. I know my puppy sleep deprivation hasn’t helped. And I know that will eventually get better. So I’m hanging on and waiting for this to pass and trying not to make hasty decisions on things. In the meantime, I’m thankful tonight for the few girlfriends who’ve been my sounding board this week. And my mom who always checks in on me but also made my sister check in on me. That made me laugh, but it was sweet.

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