Is it wrong if I say I’m mostly thankful that it’s the end of the week? And that my weird dream about getting fired was just a nightmare. And that my first big paper isn’t due until NEXT weekend. So thankful about that one…
Author Archives: mclements43
October 29
I forgot to bring my homework home with me tonight. I literally carry my book bag with me almost every where I go just in case I have a bit of time to be reading or at least checking on things. Today I left work and made it all the way home before realizing it was still sitting in my office. Instead of going back for it, I decided to work on my kitchen. It’s disorganized state has been driving me nuts. So I went to Menards, bought some shelves and hung them with the aid of a certain muscular guy and his working drill (sadly, my drill died completely a couple weeks ago). Hanging the shelves meant I had to remove a cabinet, empty its contents and find new places to put everything. But it’s amazing the difference already. Its not quite finished, but it feels a little larger and has added a lot of storage. The only downside is that I need to find a new home for the chalkboard. But so far, it’s worth it. I’m thankful to have better organization and a way to free up my counters. Less clutter will (hopefully) make the kitchen easier to work in and keep clean. And save my sanity.
October 28
I’m thankful for children who obey my every command. Ok my daughter was looking over my shoulder so that was for her benefit. I am thankful that they finished cleaning up the mountain of leaves in the front yard before I got home from work though. I’m also thankful that there aren’t as many leaves in the back yard. Although the ones that are there are from the neighbor’s tree leaning over the fence. Doubtful they will help pick them up. It’s a good thing I have a leaf blower and can return them back over the fence. (I wish!) Unfortunately, it would appear that Fall is leaving quickly so I’m going to try to enjoy the last bits of it and be thankful the weather report is not calling for the S-word by Halloween.
October 27
My boyfriend teased me today about having no gratitude for him making me breakfast AND dinner yesterday. I teased him back that his breakfast made us sick so it was hard to mention. (It didn’t really; I think it was coincidence.) At any rate, I promised him that the next post was going to be his. I don’t think he took me seriously. After all, we are both more than a bit sarcastic. But I thought about it afterwards and decided that I should write about him. Sometimes it’s easiest to take the people closest to us for granted, assuming they should know how we feel. Even forgetting the niceties we reserve for strangers, like thank you and please and excuse me. I try to remember to be respectful that way, but I still find it difficult sometimes to be verbal with compliments. I often think them, but I’m reticent with sharing. Maybe it stems from my fear of sounding disingenuine. I’m sure growing up in a family of seven sarcastic people didn’t help. Or maybe it’s because getting complimented often makes me feel awkward. Whatever the reason, I really should get better at it.
So what about my guy? For starters, he’s helped redefine my expectations for relationships. In that, I’m learning to let go of how I think things should be and am much more willing to let things evolve as they will. Not a lot about us makes us an obvious match. He’s math; I’m English. He prefers to be alone; I bug him when my house is empty. He’s ok with no plan; I need to know what’s happening next. He’s never been married; I’ve been divorced. Heck, he’s even a foot taller than I am. And a lot younger. And for the longest time, I thought those differences would matter more than they do. But every time I worry, he makes me feel calmer and I think it’s because for the first time in my relationship history, I actually trust him. He doesn’t run off of ulterior motives or competition or whatever is going to make him look best. He says what he means, and I really appreciate that. Maybe not always in the moment, but I love knowing that I can take what he tells me at face value. For me, that’s a biggie. I also appreciate that he’s respectful to me; he asks my opinion, he apologizes if he needs to, he invites me to join him on things. I don’t feel taken for granted. I’m thankful for some little things too: how he kisses the top of my head, pays for dinner, rests his hand on my knee when he drives, teases me relentlessly, cooks for me, tries to scare me during tv time, and has helped me appreciate craft beer and Howard Stern. Obviously, I could add stuff, but he’s probably already mad that I’ve said this much.
As with everyone, my guy isn’t perfect. I do get annoyed sometimes. (And yet he doesn’t with me…go figure.) But I am honestly thankful for having him in my life. We broke up for a short period and I realized then that no matter how I tried to move on, I couldn’t. He’s gotten under my skin. I told him once that I’d take whatever time I had with him, long or short, because I knew it would be worth it. Of course, I hope now it will be a long time.
October 26
My Sunday list:
good coffee
safe travels
no puppy accidents
my boyfriend puppy sitting
sleepovers
yummy food
teavana tea
a clean office
not raking leaves
October 25
I should have posted this yesterday but fell asleep. I have no excuses, really. It was just a long weekend. I took five teenage girls on a road trip to the first speech tournament of our newly formed team. It was at another community college almost three hours away. I was nervous going, being the only one responsible for driving us all to a place I’d never been before. It had also been a long time since I’d been a part of the speech circuit, so I was hoping that what I was expecting was still going to be accurate. It ended up that it was. It was a busy tournament schedule, rounds starting almost every hour from noon on Friday to 8 pm and then again from 8 am to 3:00 pm on Saturday with the awards ceremony following. I had to judge numerous times, rounds my team weren’t competing in, so I didn’t get a chance to witness everyone’s performance on my team. That was ok; I worried that my presence would make them nervous anyway. Because this was so new to them, I was more anxious for them to watch and learn from others with more experience. As a teacher, I know sometimes that what I try to explain to students doesn’t sink in as quickly as witnessing or experiencing things firsthand. And there were a lot of really good speeches and performers to watch. It’s so inspiring to see these young people with so much talent. Especially the ones competing in impromptu, during which they are given a quote they’ve never seen before and have 7 minutes to prepare and deliver a speech on the spot. Impressive. Or the ones who memorize pieces of stories or poems and deliver it with all the gusto and emotion of actors on an empty stage. Moving.
Maybe this will sound bad, but I knew my team wasn’t going to walk away with first place trophies. And not because they don’t have talent, but because they weren’t ready. Most of them had only practiced a few times prior. Only a couple of them even knew one another since I had a hard time getting everyone to meet at the same time beforehand. All of them were either in their first speech class this semester or had taken only one class prior. So really my goal for them was to walk away excited to try harder, knowing what to expect. And I’m happy to say that did happen. They couldn’t stop talking about the people they had met and the great speeches they had heard. They discussed techniques and what they liked or didn’t like from what they had seen. And when one of them actually made it to a final round, they were extremely excited and supportive of her. When we left campus Friday, these kids were unsure strangers, but they returned on Saturday, new friends with a bond and a common goal. I’m really grateful for that.
October 24
I’ll write more about this later because I’m stuck in a Motel 8 without working wifi for my iPad and no computer access. So I’m working off my phone and I’m exhausted. It was day one of a speech tournament almost three hours from home. The first tournament for our team. I’m thankful we made it here safely. I’m thankful the five teenage girls are still getting along. And despite the horrible paint job (baby blue, pale yellow and orange??) I’m grateful to have my own room. It has actually been a good day.
October 23
So I lost my ring. The silver one I always wear that has “peace” engraved on it. It was my visual reminder that I can let things go…remain calm…be at peace. All hell broke loose today. I’m kidding, of course. But I have to admit that I felt a bit lost without it. I really don’t take it off unless I’m putting on hand lotion (which is often now that the weather has gotten cooler) but I really can’t remember taking it off recently, even for that. At any rate, I had to adjust myself to not having it. I wasn’t so much irritated that I’d lost a piece of jewelry (although misplacing stuff does drive me nuts), I went through an actual thought process of telling myself I would survive without it. That its loss did not mean I had somehow jinxed myself out of ever feeling peaceful again. Seriously. I had to kind of laugh at myself. Although I don’t actually believe that such talismans bring luck or ward off danger. I wrote before about how this ring symbolized for me that
October 22
A gratitude list for today:
The headache I awoke with went away by lunchtime.
My stomach felt better by dinner.
The weather was beautiful and the sun was out all day.
My new vacuum works great.
My mom figured out how to send pictures in text messages.
My bedroom floor is visible again.
An hour long soak in the tub felt amazing.
October 21
I didn’t sleep well last night and woke up feeling yucky. My stomach bothered me all day; I even left work early. Of course, I find it difficult to come home and rest because I see so much that I still need to do around the house. In fact, sick or not, I planned to clean up my room tonight. I’m in the process of switching out summer clothes for winter. (One day I’d like a closet big enough to house all of my clothes through all the seasons.) However, I decided mid-way that I should really eliminate some stuff again. Especially shoes. I rather love shoes, but I find myself wearing the same few pairs repeatedly, forgetting about others I have sitting on the shelves. Of course, even a quick look through the boxes will explain why that happens. I have shoes (and some clothes!) for a different life. Some where along the way I started collecting shoes for places I haven’t gone and probably never will. Beautiful high heeled shoes that are not possible to wear to work. Well, not for the work that I do. And I don’t get invited to many places that require me to dress up. I guess I’ve held on to some of them because I actually do like dressing up occasionally. I wouldn’t mind a fancy affair now and then. But I simply don’t have that kind of social circle. And it’s silly to hold on to things just in case. Especially when it’s creating stress in my daily life. The clutter is killing me. But it’s going to have to wait another day. I’m too exhausted to tackle it. I’m thankful tonight that I can put off some stuff like I do. I’m also thankful that I can let some things go, even my shoes. It will be a little painful, but the payoff of an organized space will make it worth it.
melissagratitude 