I was looking through some pictures from my phone’s saved “cloud” stream again because I had an issue with my phone battery and had to get a replacement phone. Now for some reason, the photos won’t download from the cloud back to my phone. It looks like they are trying to load but aren’t visible, even after a couple weeks. So I’ve been looking through to see if I even need that to happen or if I can stop the process and quit worrying about it. Silly concern, I know, but I’m only worried that the attempt to download is eating up my phone’s battery life. At any rate, as I went back through photos, I realized that a lot of the ones I really like are the funny ones my kids and I have taken together, especially the insanely awkward and unflattering ones. They immediately bring back the moment we were in when we took them. I’m thankful tonight for those memories and for the amount of laughter we still have, even on the stressful days.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
September 23
I’ve been stressed lately. I think I have good reasons to be stressed, but I still don’t like it. So I had a moment today when I realized I needed to quit feeling defeated by thing and instead just deal with them. So tonight I’m thankful for the following:
Getting posters hung
Having a planning conversation with a colleague
Getting furniture moved
Taking a long lunch at Starbucks
Renewing my license plates
Having a good chat with my instructor
Getting more homework done (at Old Chicago)
Feeling less overwhelmed by bedtime
September 22
As sore as my body is already and is going to be even more so tomorrow, I’m thankful I’ve started some actual exercising lately. Last week I discovered that my dog likes running with me. So I’ve taken him out a few times now on the bike path near where I live. Tonight we went again because even though I hoped to go to a class at the gym, I felt guilty leaving him immediately upon getting home. He’s not supposed to have a lot of strenuous exercise yet since he was neutered last Friday, so we did a walk/run for a while. Frankly, I’m not a runner, so my running is fairly close to a walk on a good day anyway. Tonight, Chance was a little amped up from not being able to play with his puppy friend for the last several days. He kept jumping at me, weaving back and forth in front of me or stopping suddenly so the run became more of an obstacle course. After taking him home, I went to the gym anyway to get some continuous cardio on a bike. It’s not the exercise routine I used to have, but at least it’s a start.
September 21
Today is the International Day of Peace established by the United Nations in 1981. I was lucky to be part of a local group who helped coordinate events throughout our city, many of which took place this past week or this weekend, such as the talk by Rajahon Gandhi on Wed and the orchestra concert last night. However, the local group (Peace Coalition) made a move to make the entire month of September peace month locally. Therefore, events will continue even after today. At my college, students, faculty, and staff have started a peace chain (wrist bands on which people have written vows of peace that are linked together) that we have hung on the bridge that spans the creek on campus. It’s a great visual. Tomorrow we plan to dedicate the peace pole (a marker that has May Peace Prevail on Earth written in different languages on it) that the college purchased.
Peace is something that I think starts on the inside. Aside from the absence of war or violence, dictionary.com defines peace as a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, and a state of tranquility and harmony and freedom from strife or dissension. Unless you can find peace within yourself, you can’t have it in a lasting way with others. I think too many people walk around with a war on the inside because they haven’t come to terms with who they are as a person and what role they have in this great play we call life. “Finding yourself” is often said in a disparaging way, but in the basic sense of the term, I see it as self-acceptance. Not an easy thing for most of us in a society that is constantly pushing impossible ideals. I like this quote from Nathaniel Branden, a psychotherapist and writer, Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself. In fact, I always wear a ring on my right hand which bears the inscription “peace” on it because I’m thankful for the reminder that peace starts with me. With my own state of harmony. I’m grateful to have been part of the peace activities this week.
September 20
I’m thankful for a variety of things today:
A sleeping puppy head on my shoulder.
Eggs Benedict at a spontaneous brunch.
Slip on shoes for bad blisters.
Funny pictures.
Invitations to the orchestra.
Nighttime chats with my daughter.
September 19
It was a perfect fall day. I’m not sure if the weather could have been better, and I now wish it could be repeated for the next few weeks. The Math crew came over tonight and we ate lots of snacks and hung out around my fire pit, which was a lot of fun. Im thankful for that and for the fact that my puppy had no complications with his neutering today and still seems to love me. That’s a good thing.
September 18
I ran into a colleague I don’t often see while at the coffee shop on campus. We chatted a little bit about what we each had going on, his son’s recent birthday, my grad classes. As we parted ways, he said to me how happy he was to see me pursuing my dreams. And for some reason, that was jarring to me. It sounded foreign and I realized that I don’t think of it that way. In my mind, I’m just doing what I’m doing. Working, trying to keep on top of house management, animal management, kid management, a social life and taking classes. Of course, in all this, I have a goal for myself. I want to succeed at all of it, excel if I’m honest. I want to get my Masters and teach again. I want a nice house and sweet pets and great kids. Good, lasting relationships with my boyfriend and friends. I want the things everyone wants, a happy life. But somehow chasing a dream seems like naivety. Something that disappeared a long time ago and is no longer in the equation of daily survival. Pursue your dreams is what we tell high school students when they graduate. What new college students cling to. As an adult, it doesn’t seem like there’s time for that anymore. What a shame. I need to change my thinking. I’m grateful for that reminder.
September 17
Tonight I went to a guest interview of Dr. Rajmohan Gandhi at our local University in honor of peace initiatives that are being done in our community. (September 21st is the International Day of Peace.) Dr. Gandhi is the grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and is a respected author, activist and professor. The event didn’t last long; it began with music and a presentation of flags from around the world, and ended with a book signing. In between Dr. Gandhi answered questions posed to him from the community about his grandfather, of course, but also about his political views and beliefs. It struck me that he is as old today as his grandfather was when he was assassinated. He was also as I expected him to be: well versed in world events, firm in his convictions of ideologies stemming from his heritage, soft spoken, and easy to listen to. He had interesting stories and viewpoints, but the one thing that stuck with me was his description of America. He had good things to say. But then he pointed out how unique America is in that we simultaneously embrace foreigners as one of our own (other countries are not so welcoming), rise up to protect people of our land (our Patriotism is fierce), but we remain willingly ignorant of the sufferings of the world. Of course, he said this in a very diplomatic way, not pointing a harsh finger, but merely stating it as fact. And as he talked, I knew it to be true of me. I don’t follow politics so much because I find it disheartening, sad, or discouraging. I’m even horrible at geography. I know vaguely where countries are in relation to each other, but I couldn’t put names on a map. And that has been my choice. I think it’s easy for most Americans who have never lived anywhere else to feel insulated from the trials of the rest of the world. I have no realtime experience. My exposure to the struggles that millions of others endure because of their country’s unrest is only what i see or hear on tv or radio, and I can turn those off when it makes me uncomfortable. It was a sobering thought. And I felt a bit guilty too. I should at least be more aware. As he said, the world must enter our heart. It echoes one of his grandfather’s famous quotes, you must be the change you wish to see in the world I’m thankful I was able to go to this talk tonight and for the reminder that the world is much larger than my little speck of dirt.
September 16
Things have been doggie dominated in my house since I brought Chance home a couple months ago. We are all getting more acclimated and into a routine, but there are still moments of extreme frustration. Like last night when I was on the phone with the cable guy who was walking me through a problem with a non-working tv, and I realized the house was too quiet. Once I was able to get away from the tv, I found the dog chewing the decorations off my daughter’s sandal. It was the first time he had actually destroyed a shoe and I couldn’t yell at him because I had a cable guy chatting in my ear. Instead I gave him my most “I’m disgusted with this” look and a shake of the fist while mouthing “bad dog!” None of which made an impact on his tail wagging as he sat waiting for what I could only guess was a treat. Or lunch time yesterday when my daughter sent me a picture of the bag of expensive orchard apples that had been scattered all over the kitchen floor and carried outside onto the porch. Now every apple is bruised or bitten. Apparently leaving things on the kitchen island is no longer safe, even though he usually never bothers stuff sitting there. And this evening, instead of heading out for a walk like normal, he unexpectedly darted out the door and took a quick left through the landscaping, pulling me almost directly though the butterfly bush laden with bees. What the heck, dog.
I’m trying to remember what I read last week about the phases of puppy growth. Apparently around his age is when the “teenage years” begin. When puppies start pushing boundaries and testing limits. Glad to see he’s on track. Part of me wishes he’d just jump ahead and past this. But I know now is the time to stick with the training and discipline because it will make a big difference once he’s full grown. I think if we don’t get off-track now, he’s going to be a great dog. Fingers crossed. In the meantime, I’m exceedingly grateful that he’s able to hang out and get worn out with my boyfriend’s puppy. After some time together tonight, Chance was asleep by 8:30 and I was able to get homework done in peace.
September 15
It’s been a bit of a lousy day all around, so gratitude isn’t so obvious right now. But that’s exactly my purpose in writing daily. It’s so easy to get caught up in the frustrations and let them sink in, so we have to be intentional about turning the negative around or at least trying to balance it with something positive. So my morning was a three hour meeting that didn’t feel overly productive. But it ended in a pretty good lunch on a day I didn’t bring one. My afternoon was an almost 2 hour meeting about a reorganization that is going to take place during which it was announced that a colleague will soon be my boss. There are a number of factors, political and otherwise, that made the announcement uncomfortable to say the least. While I have some reservations about the change, my new boss is someone I like and respect and my area remains under my current boss, so there is consistency in programming. Finally, this evening I wasn’t able to go to the gym as I intended when I got home because the kids were gone and my puppy was in desperate need of attention. After too much jumping and nipping, I took him running with me for the first time and he kept a great pace and seemed to enjoy it (more than I did). He was much better the rest of the evening. So there. Lousy day but still enough to be thankful for.
melissagratitude 