I spent a good portion of my day out in the yard, mowing and eliminating weeds. I didn’t get everything cleaned up, but enough to make a difference. I know soon it will be cold enough that we won’t need to mow or even worry about weeds. After all, there was frost on the ground this morning. I’m so not ready for the cold. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true. I’m still way too aware of how miserable it was last winter. So I’m just going to say I’m thankful that today was lovely enough to be outside working in the yard. Without a coat, even. I’m good with that.
October 10
Today went by too quickly. I had intentions of getting my last homework assignment done as well as getting some things done at home. But the end of my work day brought with it a desire to do nothing more that required thought or energy. So I’m thankful tonight that I was actually able to slack off a little and enjoy an evening of dinner out, TV watching, and not much else.
October 9
I’m thankful for laughter and inside jokes. For friends who check up on each other. For long walks through my neighborhood that end with puppy play time. For soft jackets to warm my hands. I’m grateful for being almost caught up with homework, for still decent weather, for math dinner, and for students who make the rough days worth it.
October 8
Unlike the craziness of yesterday (I blame the blood moon for all the strange behaviors, including crying and arguing students) today was a bit more mild. I’m thankful for that. I’m also thankful for the DNA results from my puppy. He was described as a pit bull/lab mix at the shelter where I got him, apparently a very common mix. Given the bad rap of pit bulls, I was a bit hesitant to adopt him. So I did some research before I took him home, and found, not surprisingly, how much the traits of pit bulls are exploited by the crappy owners who train them for malicious purposes. Pit bull terriers are extremely loyal to their families and tend to dislike other dogs. Add that to their strength and hence the propensity to train them to fight. In fact, in many articles I read, some of the most common breeds to bite people are small dogs, like the Dachshund, Chihuahua and Jack Russell. I know my parents always warned people that their Chihuahua’s may bite them, so they never let people get too close. Granted, small dogs’ strength isn’t quite the same, but their aggression tends to be downplayed because of their small size. In addition to research, I also had some conversations with other owners and people who work with dogs on a regular basis, which helped alleviate my fears. After all, he’s not a full-on pit, especially given the fact that he has a curly tail, the one thing that’s been the question mark. Even my vet was puzzled by what that would mean for his mutt mix. So, the DNA results confirmed that one of his parents was American Staffordshire Terrier and Labrador Retriever, along with some mixed breeding and his other parent was Boxer along with some mixed breeding. The mixed breeding isn’t guaranteed in the test, but the breed most likely is Shiba Inu, which would account for his curly tail. I’m glad to have my curiosity appeased on that and to know the likelihood of traits Chance has as far as temperament and size. I’ve already begun to see his personality and am glad to see he actually gets along with other dogs as well as people. Maybe the lab is more dominant there. He’s also proven to be quite intelligent, although a bit stubborn. He’s quite a sweetheart though. And as with kids, training is key, regardless of his DNA.
October 7
As usual, I felt a mixture of frustration, disgust, and sadness while looking at the news headline online today. There is so much wrong with our world. I have been saying for years that what we need is a good news channel. One that highlights all the good or humorous things going on in the world today. That is something I’d watch or read. I did stumble across one story that made me laugh. The headline: A Man Is Trying To Trade His Detroit Home For An IPhone 6. My initial reaction was, really? This is what it’s come to–someone desperate for the latest gadget that he’d sell his house? I read the story, fully expecting to find some sort of desperate times scenario. Or a misleading headline. No. I guess it’s the real thing. The homeowner has been having trouble selling the property (on which there is $6,000 of back taxes owed) for the current price of $3,000. So the guy, who isn’t living in the area anyway, wants to trade. It does seem a bit sad that the market is so lousy that even a fixer upper can’t sell for three grand. But the part that got to me was the final comment from the realtor. The homeowner would even be open to trading the house for a 32 GB iPad. He may be willing to take anything, maybe an Android, I don’t know. Even his realtor is confused. And apparently, the homeowner is so desperate, he may lower his standards and go with an Android. People today. There really are so many things screwed up. But I’m thankful for the laugh.
October 6
I goofed off tonight. I admit it. Instead of reading and studying all night like I planned to and should have done, I kept finding distractions: tv, text messaging, internet surfing, snap chats. I even sang to the dog for a while. Then finally, I buckled down and started to read. It’s not that the information is uninteresting. In one class, diffusion theory, it reads a lot like marketing principles. I have some background in marketing, so much of it makes sense to me. The chapters I’m in for the other class (on research) is statistical testing and analysis, which is also familiar since I took a stats class. Thank God. I can’t imagine how confused I’d be if I hadn’t since I’m still finding it a bit difficult to follow and it’s not completely foreign material. At any rate, I’m plugging along, thankful I’m a fast reader. Thankful I know how to dissect what I’m reading in order to answer my homework questions fairly quickly. And thankful I have 8 more days until midterm to get caught up. Tonight I won’t be going to bed early.
October 5
My gratitude list for this Sunday:
Being able to spend an extra few minutes in my warm bed this morning
Making it to church just in time and relating to the message
Sitting in the sunshine and feeling warm, despite the cool breeze
Taking a trip to a brewery to sample the special October pumpkin beer
Enjoying the visit, despite the sold-out pumpkin beer
Having dessert before dinner
Getting to bed early
October 4
After feeling how cold my kitchen floor was this morning, I’m thankful for getting the doggie door weather proofed today. I’m hoping to stall turning on the furnace a little longer. After all, 62 degrees is bearable with an extra layer and socks. I’m also thankful for chili, and a hops festival at a local brewing company, for amazing cheese curds, another new episode of Dr. Who, for warm hugs, and for chatting with my mom.
October 3
Today was the first day in a while that I actually felt relaxed. I didn’t stress over the homework I need to finish or the housework or the dog or what plans I had or didn’t have for the weekend. Of course, all of those things were on my mind, but I didn’t have the familiar knot in my stomach that I’ve had for the last six weeks. Whatever the reason, it was a nice break. I’m thankful for that and for the lovely evening tonight that included a vacuum demonstration, puppy play time, a Dr. Who repeat, Chinese take out and time cleaning up the piles of papers in my office. I’m actually using my office computer tonight for the first time in weeks. I hope tomorrow follows in similar fashion.
October 2
This morning a friend and I had a conversation about the differences between men and women in the biology of attraction. She had read about a study that claimed all men, regardless of age, “fantasize” about women in their 20s, while women typically “prefer” men their age or older. Now, one of the graduate classes I’m in is about research methods, so I immediately had an issue with how the article summarized the study, specifically the word choices and how it glossed over the actual facts in lieu of insinuating that all men are horny for young, nubile women. Because, you know, we don’t hear about that enough. In reality, the main point of the study was that both men and women are hardwired, biologically speaking, to be attracted to the age group that makes the most sense for procreating. For that purpose, men need mates who are most fertile (those in their 20s) while women need someone who can help raise offspring (not usually 20 year old men). Why we needed another study to confirm this is a different question altogether. The thing that bothered me was the effect of this article. It made my friend, who is dating a younger guy, question her own attractiveness. And not just in general, but to him. The crazy thing is that it wasn’t the first time this week that I’ve come across this issue. I watched a video the other day on Upworthy where a very attractive woman in her 60s talked about the time her boyfriend who was 5 years younger than she refused to take her to a restaurant because he was embarrassed to be seen with her in public. She was too old. Maybe he imagined himself with a 20 year old.
This isn’t a new thing. This constant worry about attractiveness. We are still fighting media pressure on getting or remaining attractive (and young) to a degree that’s ridiculous. I admit to having felt insecure some days myself, especially since I, too, am dating a guy who is younger than I am. But then reality sets in. We can’t all stay 20 something forever. And it angers me to be made to feel that aging is some kind of sin. That at some point, I will cross a threshold where I am no longer desirable or attractive. That implies that who I am is completely dependent on the way I look. Thus, I should spend a lot of time worrying about it. Well, I refuse to. I’ve already wasted too much time doing that. Instead, I trust that my relationship with my guy is based on more than looks. That the attraction is based on more than something physical, as good relationships are. Any doubt beyond that, I have to simply let go. Thankfully.
melissagratitude 