May 18, 2021

You guys! My hair is coming back already. I’ve noticed it on my arms and my head. It’s mostly white, which I’m told is normal at first, and it’s super soft. The fuzz on the top of my head feels like feather down. Sadly my nose hair doesn’t seem to be coming back in, nor my eyebrows or eyelashes. But that’s ok. I know they will. I’m so thankful to see some coming back in. It’s another reminder that things are getting better.

May 12, 2021

One more down and only one to go!! Patrick didn’t get my shoes in this picture, so I’m taking it as a sign that we’re both getting tired of this. Next week will be a celebration.

My sister sent me this long wig. Isn’t it cool? My nurse said she didn’t recognize me at first until she saw Patrick. I don’t know if I looked it, but I felt young. Haha! At any rate, I’m just grateful today to be so close to the finish.

May 5, 2021

Only 2 chemo treatments left! It was another uneventful appointment except that I was TIRED right after and still am.

Time for boots is ending!

Today I’m also thankful for my sister Brenda, whose birthday is today. She’s the older sister who was most likely to beat us up. But she’s also the one who would be the first to defend us if needed. She is generous, strong, beautiful and fun. She also inspired my colorful wigs.

Brenda and her rainbow hair

I’m grateful for my sister. I’m thankful for one more treatment done. I’m also super happy for my friend who finished her last chemo treatment today. She has some radiation left to do and then her year gets better. Woohoo!!

April 28, 2021

My new boots!

I’m down to 3 more treatments! Today I wore my curly wig that I’ve had for quite a while. I hadn’t worn it because it was supposed to be blonde, but it looks more gray. And it’s pretty big so I questioned whether I could pull it off. But today I decided I really didn’t care. Funny thing is that a couple of the nurses told me it was their favorite so far. Go figure.

Yesterday I wore my blue wig when I went for my bloodwork and doctor visit. My doctor loves the colors. He laughs every time he sees them and even said he suggested to his wife that she try a fun color. (She declined.) His nurse told me that when another nurse commented that a patient had a colorful wig on, she replied, “Oh, that’s Melissa!” I’m guessing not too many other patients are as noticeable. And the lady who checks us in every day always comments on my shoes or outfit. She also wears funky attire, and we’ve bonded over shoes.

I go to the cancer center so often that when I get in the car, my phone gives me a notice telling me how long it will take me to get there. So it makes me happy to have connected to the staff and know that they smile when they see me. I’m thankful that I pushed aside my early doubts about wearing silly wigs and my doubt about today’s choice. It’s fun to step outside my comfort zone in this way. It’s been a good reminder that sometimes we hold ourselves back because we think we’ll look or seem silly, when really we just look like our original selves.

April 25, 2021

Why do weekends not last long enough? This one seemed to go by extra quick. Although I got all the typical weekend stuff done—laundry and vacuuming and mopping—fun remains on my to-do list. I’ll have to find time this week for it.

I am grateful though that the chemo side effects were mild enough this time that I only needed Tylenol once on Saturday. The rest of the weekend, I was able to endure the aches without much trouble. That’s such a huge win.

April 21, 2021

Clear heels!

Only 4 more treatments to go! Yay! I wore my storage unit wig today and even put on fake eyelashes. It’s weird not having eyelashes and eyebrows anymore. My face feels so bare. But the fake lashes looked awkward without actual lashes too. Oh well. I’ll keep trying.

I’ve started getting neuropathy after last week’s treatment. I had been feeling it off and on previously, but it’s definitely more often now. My nurse asked about side effects, so I told her about it. Since my oncologist was out today, she had the doctor on call talk to me about it before starting treatment. We decided it’s still mild enough not to change anything. However, if it gets worse, they may need to lower my dose again. Fingers crossed it holds off. Since my dose was already lowered, I’d really like to get through the next four without changing it.

I’m thankful things are still going well overall. I’m grateful for the sunshine today even though it was cold again. I’m happy to be so close to the finish line.

April 16, 2021

My chemo effects kicked in later today. I got so tired I fell asleep for a couple of hours this afternoon. Maybe it was the hour I spent outside working in the yard—too much fresh air and sunshine. And physical activity for someone who hasn’t been doing much. Or maybe just chemo fatigue.

I’m thankful though for not being too sore. I’m thankful for being able to take the afternoon off work to relax a bit. And I’m thankful for a surprise ice cream treat that served as most of my dinner.

April 14, 2021

The countdown continues…five treatments left after today! I wore my spotty shoes in celebration.

Today’s treatment was a little longer than usual because my nurse had trouble getting the needle in my port correctly. She’s worked with me only once before and had the same trouble. Both previously and today, she had to get another nurse to do it for her.

While it’s uncomfortable for me (I end up getting poked numerous times), I felt bad for her. She’s not a new nurse, but she is newer to oncology and must not have a lot of experience with ports. I could tell she was a bit frustrated and maybe embarrassed that she wasn’t successful. It’s all practice, but it’s kind of crazy that the practice can only happen in real time. The pressure of that must be awful.

I tried not to show it, but I was glad she didn’t keep trying on her own because I’m sure it will be sore later. However, today I’m thankful for her and all the nurses who take on this work with its pressures and crazy learning curves. It’s intense work and not something I’d want to do, but I’m grateful others have to courage.

April 12, 2021

Every once in a while, I have a day where I’m tired of living with chemo side effects: the sinus issues and nosebleeds, the tiredness, the indigestion that causes a cough, the strange dry yet slimy feeling in my mouth, the sore muscles, the inability to regulate my body temperature. I know things could be worse, and I’m truly grateful they’re not. But today, I was tired of cancer. And chemo. I’m thankful I have Patrick who hugs me when I cry.

April 8, 2021

My in-laws still give us something every week as a chemo pick-me-up. This week it was some pampering treats and a super soft blanket that I had to fight Chance for when I opened it.

On this rainy day, it seemed like a good day for a spa. I took a hot bath, did a couple of facial items hoping to soothe my face rash, and used some of the moisturizing products sent this week. I then shared my blanket with Chance.

I’m thankful my in-laws still want to make chemo week easier. I so appreciate them.