I’m thankful for the peaceful house which is mostly due to this:

My Sunday list:

Sleeping in a half hour longer.
A clean kitchen floor.
Biscuits and gravy.
Long puppy walks through pretty fall colors.
Feeling connected.
Dr. Who quotes.
Being there for a hurting friend.
Tacos.
Freshly washed sheets.

I mentioned in a previous post that this has been a long week. I’m used to stress; in fact, I can honestly say I haven’t had too many periods in my adult life I haven’t had some measure of it. But I think the older I get, the quicker it sometimes bothers me. This morning I found myself feeling resentful of it. And especially resentful of being alone in dealing with some of the stuff that’s causing it lately. My kids help out with some house stuff, but really, they don’t have the same stake in things that I have. This house is where they live, but it’s not theirs. They don’t lie awake at night worrying about getting the painting done or if the furnace is going to make it through the winter. They’ll do the dishes or clean the litter box because I ask. If I didn’t, they’d probably choose not to do it. And I’m sure I was the same way as a teenager. I had other things on my mind. They’ll only finally start looking at housework differently when it’s their own house. So this morning, I was a little emotional which means I start to over think on everything. I tried to shake it off and was mostly successful by the time my boyfriend and I went to an Octoberfest event during the afternoon. But then a bit later, on our way to a friend’s bonfire, he made a benign remark that I attached meaning to and once again, I was emotional. Now I’m not going to go into differences about how women and men operate because I think when our feelings are involved (and I do believe both men and women have feelings) it’s sometimes easy to over think. Or assume. Or over react when we’re overwhelmed. Maybe some of us more than others.

On the other hand, take my dad. He was an engineer and a very logical thinker. He didn’t tolerate emotional stuff well. He wasn’t a touchy feely, gee I really love you kind of guy. He also didn’t care what others thought of him, so he was very vocal in his opinions and in pointing out what he considered to be stupid behavior. I’m sure it’s no surprise when I say that as a teenager, I didn’t appreciate his personality. After all, it went against teenage drama, which is full of stupidity. However, as an adult, I can say that I’m thankful for his insistence on thinking logically. It helps me get back to center. As a friend of mine said recently, I am one of the most self-controlled people she knows. But, I’ll add in usually. Occasionally, like today, I let myself get caught up in how I’m feeling. But I mostly don’t stay there very long, especially if I can talk it through. Which I did later tonight with my boyfriend. Thankfully, he was a good sport about it and was supportive with how stressed I’ve been. That helped tremendously. I think I’m back on track.

Tonight in thankful for Friday, for puppy play time (finally!), for good almost spicy chicken, for another chapter of homework finished, and for de-stressing. It’s a good end to the week and a good start to the weekend.

It’s been a long, frustrating week overall. In fact, at math dinner tonight we discussed how we all had similar weeks and how tired we were. I planned to get home tonight, blog and go directly to bed. But my kids are gone and the animals needed attention. So I gave the cat some quick hugs and head rubs and planned to hang out with the dog while I wrote. However, when I sat down on the sofa with him, he grabbed a toy and plopped himself in my lap instead. I love when he’s sweet like that. He’s only recently started cuddling up next to me. Sometimes in the mornings I don’t need to rush off to work, I sit with him on “his” sofa and he lays his head in my lap or on my shoulder and goes back to sleep. It’s in those moments that I’m reassured that he is going to be a great companion–if we can survive these puppy months together. So after a rough week, I’m thankful for the pet sweetness that greeted me tonight. That was worth the small delay in bedtime.

I’ve been stressed lately. I think I have good reasons to be stressed, but I still don’t like it. So I had a moment today when I realized I needed to quit feeling defeated by thing and instead just deal with them. So tonight I’m thankful for the following:

Getting posters hung
Having a planning conversation with a colleague
Getting furniture moved
Taking a long lunch at Starbucks
Renewing my license plates
Having a good chat with my instructor
Getting more homework done (at Old Chicago)
Feeling less overwhelmed by bedtime

Today is the International Day of Peace established by the United Nations in 1981. I was lucky to be part of a local group who helped coordinate events throughout our city, many of which took place this past week or this weekend, such as the talk by Rajahon Gandhi on Wed and the orchestra concert last night. However, the local group (Peace Coalition) made a move to make the entire month of September peace month locally. Therefore, events will continue even after today. At my college, students, faculty, and staff have started a peace chain (wrist bands on which people have written vows of peace that are linked together) that we have hung on the bridge that spans the creek on campus. It’s a great visual. Tomorrow we plan to dedicate the peace pole (a marker that has May Peace Prevail on Earth written in different languages on it) that the college purchased.

Peace is something that I think starts on the inside. Aside from the absence of war or violence, dictionary.com defines peace as a state of mutual harmony between people or groups, and a state of tranquility and harmony and freedom from strife or dissension. Unless you can find peace within yourself, you can’t have it in a lasting way with others. I think too many people walk around with a war on the inside because they haven’t come to terms with who they are as a person and what role they have in this great play we call life. “Finding yourself” is often said in a disparaging way, but in the basic sense of the term, I see it as self-acceptance. Not an easy thing for most of us in a society that is constantly pushing impossible ideals. I like this quote from Nathaniel Branden, a psychotherapist and writer, Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself. In fact, I always wear a ring on my right hand which bears the inscription “peace” on it because I’m thankful for the reminder that peace starts with me. With my own state of harmony. I’m grateful to have been part of the peace activities this week.